Perseverantia Fortitudo

Month 11:

2006-06-15T20:41:00.000+08:00

Month 10:

2006-05-15T13:13:00.000+08:00

Todays also the first day of my finals, how ironic. Wish me luck kiddies!

Month 9, Day 7: Hear ye! Hear ye!

2006-04-22T00:31:00.000+08:00

I've got good news and bad news.

The bad news is..

I've been swamped with tons of assignments as of late. There's the program that I have to code in C++ to demonstrate the Bresenham and Mid Point algorithms to produce a line and a circle, write a paper on the development and applications of the Root Locus method in control systems, submit a report on the resulting Probability Density Functions and Frequency of Occurences based on a Uniformly distributed, Gaussian distributed and Rayleigh distributed randomly generated values(including its coding and graphs in Matlab), and finally submit the assignment answers on electronic measurement instruments and also probability and statistics subjects. Altogether five assignments, all to be submitted by the end of this month. On top of it, my finals are just around the corner(mid May) and I haven't even started my revision on the chapters beyond what was covered in the mid terms for any of the subjects.

The car is having some problems with the alternator. Previously I had sent the car to a workshop to have the alternator replaced, but the L2 engine rejected the alternator transplant from a Kancil donor, thus resulted in frequent sputterings and also the belting getting ripped apart. After much deliberation(procrastination if you prefer), I had to send the car to the workshop again and have it refitted with a 'recond' alternator from a similar L2 engine. But what I wasn't aware was that Japanese engines employ a relatively lower voltage compared to Malaysian engines(which is ironic considering the fact that all our national engines are direct Japanese rip-offs, except maybe the Campro) and a 'recond' alternator will have an even lower voltage. So now the car runs at a nice 13.5 volts during the day, but it fluctuates around 12 volts during the night when the head lights are on. Oh, and the turbine seems a bit heavy lately, and the turbo lag is becoming increasingly pronounced.

(an alternator is that component in your car that converts mechanical energy to electrical energy, which means that it recharges your battery whilst the engine is running. Without an alternator, the battery will go kaput after 2-3 hours and your car wont move unless you flag down passers by and get them to gotong royong push your car to the roadside)

And finally the icing on the cake, Aidan chan's hand bag got snatched. It happened last Monday morning whilst she was walking to the main road to catch a cab back to her campus. Everything in her hand bag, her lecture notes, her identification card, student card, bank cards, money, her new handphone(which she bought using the money she earned while working part time at a bookstore) and also the MP3 player that the bos besar recently bought for her as a souvenir from his recent trip to Japan was lost. But the worst thing about it must be the fact that the incident occurred just a few houses away from ours. You read about it in the newspaper and see it all the time on the television, but you never thought it would happen to you or someone close, let alone so close to home. But it does.

The good news is..

One of the assignment is halfway done(the hard part that is), another one involves me writing about one of the chapters that wasn't covered in the mid terms which essentially allows me to automatically revise for the finals at the same time, and the other three are straightforward exercise questions which is relatively harder than the usual tutorial questions but more or less the same, and the miss 'I can see the light shining so brightly' has been very kind enough to lend me her notebook for the weekend, which would greatly help me in writing the reports and also finishing the coding for the C++ program(nice notebook by the way, very light!).

The car with all its problems and issues is still dependable, gets me from point A to point B(although at noon it seems like I've made the trip walking instead of driving when I arrive) and I enjoy the sing a longs with the new auditory sensation system. Its not as fast as it used to be anymore, but at least it gets me there. Oh that reminds me, kepada yang berkenaan, sila pulangkan CD Nickelback saya, lagu 'I wanna be a rockstar' tu adalah lagu yang sering diputar di pagi hari ketika saya bergegas ke kelas. Sekian terima kasih!

Aidan chan is downstairs having dinner, watching a rerun of Lost and discussing the significance of all the numbers with the other chan-chans. That itself is good news already.

Dah..dah..nak sambung buat assignment balik. Banyak lak ngarut nyer..

Month 9:

2006-04-15T17:21:00.000+08:00

Month 8, Day 26: The Mangas That Was

2006-04-11T02:14:00.000+08:00

Aaaahhhh..tis a rarity for me to have the home computer all to myself.

Everyones back at their respective campuses and I'm the only one at home. Tomorrows a holiday so I decided to spend the night at home and savour the mem besar's home cook meals. Although everyone is still on the low carbo diet(how come I'm the only one yang tak health concious?), its a better option any day compared to mamaks. If I eat anymore roti sardin I'll either turn into a sardin or worse, jadi mamak myself! Blueeh! By the way, the mamaks at Putrajaya and Cyberjaya are so darn expensive! Add to the fact that its a captured market(in the middle of the night, theres nowhere else to go except a mamak stall), they tend to be vary lazy and the food quality are just ridiculous! Especially Hassan, berejam nak tunggu order! Nak organize a boycott, takde tempat lain nak makan. So? Makan roti sardin looorrr..

Where was I before I got carried away? Ah yes, the computer to myself. What peace of mind it is to sit down and take my own lazy time in writing this down, without the regular announcements like 'Fi dah book kul 11, nanti abaran dah habis panggil ek!' or Nanao chan going

'Lama lagi ke abaran nak pakai?'.
'Yer..lama lagi..nih tgh blank white space lagi nih...idea banyak tapi taktau camne nak start. Kasi abaran carik my center jap...' (well..the last part I said it under my breath la kan..poyo ke ape nak cakap audibly?)
'Yeah right, whateveRRRRRRRR. Nanti dah habis panggil ek..Nana dah janji ngan kawan'

Adikku dah pandai jadi super 'coolness'. Sikit hari nanti kang dah pandai snap the fingers in that zig zag motion lak. Salah sapa? MTV(tele is always to blame).

Anyway, I came home during the weekends and found the C drive totally wiped out. All thats left was the 'Program Files', 'WINDOWS' and 'My Documents and Settings' folders which I swear sat there mocking me in silence. Everything else, from the animes, mangas and scanlations, to the gigabytes upon gigabytes of mp3s, were all gone. 20 gigs of the OS drive, completely empty. Guess the bos besar got tired of all the bugs and spywares that recently took up residence on the computer and formatted the drive.

I wasn't really that bothered to begin with actually, I have all the mp3s safely copied onto the ipod already(thank god I didn't procastinate!) and I can make new copies of the animes from some friends here who are staying at the hostel(one has 250 gigs of anime stored on his drive, so no worries there). But I think it hit Nanao chan the hardest, shes the diligent one in keeping up with all the mangas and scanlations and downloading each and every issue of her favourite Deathnotes, Yakitate Japans, Speed Graphers and other mangas that I've never heard of. Now she has to redownload each and every issue and build up her collection again. Suffice to say, the computer was totally hers right from the moment she got back on Friday till the Sunday evening when I sent her to her campus in Shah Alam.

On the way to her campus, I offerred to burn copies of some animes that my friend might have downloaded onto his computer at the hostel, perhaps replace some of the animes that were lost in the formatting process earlier. So we went through her choice of animes..

'Kawan abaran ada anime apa?'
'Tahla..kena check la. Maybe Bleach ada kot, then Slam Dunk. Prince of Tennis pon maybe ada..'
'Yakitate Japan?'
'Nope.'
'Second Coming?'
'Nope.'
'EyeShield 21?'
'Takde gak.'
*long pause on her part*
'Kenapa kawan abaran tak download anime yang best best?'
'Uhh..ntah. Taste lain lain kot'
'LoseRRRRRssssss'

'Yawwwwwnn...WhateveRRRRRR'

Aku pon boleh jadi cool gak aper!

Month 8, Day 16: APEKAH?

2006-04-01T14:53:00.000+08:00

'APEKAH...?!!'

Is what I said out loud when after Friday prayers few weeks back, I found my loafers no longer where I had left it earlier.

There are a lot of things in this world that really irks me, stuff like the slow poke who stubbornly sticks to the fast lane even after I tail him/her real close with my headlights flashing, the guy who jumps the que in front of me and feigns a nonchalant demeanour as if he has all the right to be there in the first place, the guy who talks incessantly about himself and has neither the mental capacity nor the slightest intuitive ability to comprehend that me puffing away with that faraway look is just my polite way of saying 'I hear ya...but I don't think I have enough memory registers within me to keep track of all your girlfriends/fiances/conquests'. Guess having an extensive variety of filler words does have its disadvantages sometimes.

But those are just irks, things that you dislike but you learn to live with. After all, we do not exist in Elysium, we make do with what we get, be it good or bad.

But to get my loafers stolen at a mosque? Sheesh! Dahla orang pegi nak menunaikan kewajipan terhadap Tuhan!

I know it is quite a common occurence for your shoes to get stolen at the mosque. Hell, when I was in Sekolah Agama, my friends would walk to the Wangsa Maju mosque in Hang Seng's(quality japanese slippers by the way) and return to the dorm in Adidas and Nikes! They even planned beforehand what sandals to swipe for that week. I even had a friend who peddled these sandals to sustain his 'mesin kuda' habit(Oh, you don't know whats a mesin kuda? Good for you!). So in reality I do realise that these things happen, its just that when it happens to me it really pisses me off. Why? Let me elaborate..

a) I have only one pair of loafers and I practically wear it everywhere. Losing it severely affects my mobility. Can't go to class in slippers, cant get into the library with slippers either, even if its a Hang Seng. If you're wondering as to why I only have a pair, its really plain and simple. It's a loafer, you can wear it anywhere and it goes with everything. Guys don't mix and match, well maybe Lord Elton John does, but I don't.

b) Because I only have one loafer, I deem it a worthwhile cause to appropriate a relatively large fund in acquiring it(depending on economic constraints la kan). Add to the fact that I am really lazy when it comes to window shopping(hmm..come to think of it, apa yang aku rajin ek?), I usually stick to one brand, even if it costs a whopping 200 ringgit(I can wear it anywhere, all the time and goes with everything, good deal in my book).

c) Lastly because its a Hush Puppies(damn you pencuri kasut!). The shoe's lightweight, feels like not wearing a shoe at all and that H2Ox sole has that certain bouncy feeling to it. Yeah yeah, branding pon plays an element jugak, but mostly its because of the comfort attribute.

So thats why getting my loafers stolen really pisses me off. There are other reasons jugak, like it forces me to wait for everyone else to clear the mosque so that I can take the selipar tandas and not accidentally pinch someone elses slippers(sheesh..such a boyscout), but the above points are those that get to me the most la.

So yeah, I went to Alamanda straight after Friday prayers, walked around for awhile in slippers whilst contemplating on which shoes to buy, withdrew money which could have been used for other more useful purposes(masuk tabung XBOX360 ke) and buying the exact same Hush Puppies loafers with its patented H2Ox sole. Color pon sama gak(what can I say, am a habitual creature).

Oh well, lets look on the brightside. At least I have two selipar jepun now, and can alternate between selipar A, a Hang Seng, and selipar jepun B, a Micro(an up and coming competitor from China) for Friday prayers.

2 weeks ago dah pakai A(albeit forcibly), last week dah pakai B. This week nak pakai A balik ke? Pakai B la. Nak jadi rebel, tanak conform.

p/s: For everyone out there yang nak updates, sorry la, been really busy lately cos nak dekat exam dah and all these lab reports and assignments dah start to pile up. Dulu ingat nak just write whatever passes my mind jer on this blog, never imagined people would be reading it. Kinda cool in a way tho! As for the anonymous comment, ni bukan New Straits Times ada periodic publishing. Hampehgas ke, cargas ke bargas ke tong gas ke..kalo dah itching sangat nak baca something on the web, gi the star online. By the way, aku still hidup agi.

Month 8:

2006-03-16T14:49:00.000+08:00

Month 7, Day 26: 1 out of 365 Days.

2006-03-12T23:31:00.000+08:00

I don't really know how to say this. If I spend too much time thinking about what to say I'll start writing nonsense and it'll turn out into a full page essay, so I'm just gonna say it.

Thank you.

For the ipod, for the lovely dinner, for the nice t-shirt and cards, for the best ever home baked chocolate cheese cake, for spending the day, for curing si comot's auditory sensation deficiency syndrome, for taking the time to make the trip from up north, for the treat, and last but not least for all the well wishes on my birthday.

No point in giving out names, you guys know who you are already. Thank you for being here.

Month 7, Day 7: Tagged! You're it!

2006-02-17T14:42:00.000+08:00

Sekali lagi saya telah kena tag, this time by rotidua(ni Kak Nina ke Abang Firhad nyer blog?). By the way, how'd you find my blog? Don't think I've ever highlighted to Kak Long or Kak Didi about my blog, though I might have hinted to Kak Long that I would be collecting 'compensations' with regard to her blog entry on the conjugal conjugate visit to Besut last time(ie. nak report kat cik ngoh and the other mokciks!). Nah, I kid.

Anyways, heres my list of four:

Four Jobs I've Had:

1) Penyenduk Ice Cream Baskin Robbins. Tak tau la nak describe job scope camne, but day to day work memang involve senduk ice cream for customers, and then once in a while for myself gak(perks of the job la tuh, lagipun afternoon memang panas).
2) Data Entry. No need to elaborate, its pretty self explanatory.
3) Tech Support. Pon self explanatory gak.
4) DELL CIO (ohhkay...I lied..)

Four Movies I Can Watch Over and Over

Lets see, not really a fan of the movies but I think I have some favourites tho,

1) Braveheart. Yeah yeah, ghey ke ape ke..whatever la, I like this movie so just sue me.
2) Shawshank Redemption. Definately without a doubt an all time favourite!
3) Last of the Mohicans.
4) Last but not least, Wallace and Gromit: The Curse of the Were Rabbit. Memang best la this movie, especially that part where those two dogs were fighting it out on that toy aeroplane when they ran out of coins. Hahah...lawak lawak.

Four Places I Have Lived

Technically, have never moved an inch from Gombak since I was little, but I guess I can include all the boarding schools that I've been to..

1) Balik Pulau, Penang.
2) Seksyen 18, Shah Alam.
3) Ayer Keroh, Melaka.
4) Kyoto, Ja.. (oh, takleh include imaginary places ke? fine..)

Four Television Shows I Loved to Watch

1) History Channel on either Discovery or NGC. Yeah I know its boring, tapi best ape cerita pasal histories and what not.
2) Pimp My Ride. MTV PLEASE PIMP MY RIDE! Cepat!! Before it gets curtains, embroided pillows, leopard print wheel covers(aaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!) and tah apa apa lagi!! Tolong MTV! Tolong selamatkan si comot! Errr, stuffed toys tu bole la kot but lets not get carried away la ek. Kang orang letak exhaust pipe besar tin milo kat kereta die kang baru tau.

Dua tu je la kot yang tengok nyer nowadays. Haven't been glued to the tele that much lately.

Four Places I Have Been On Vacation

This one, you've actually approached the wrong person! Ni patut tag 'lil misz traveller', barula banyak input. I guess I'll just list down the ones that I deem very memorable trips..

1) Kenyir, Terengganu.
2) Fukuoka, Ja.. (ni pon takleh imaginary ker??? dang..)

Four of My Favourite Dishes

This one I can fill all four, lebih dari empat pon I can!

1) Nasi Goreng mem besar with a healthy dosage of Parmesan Cheese! Leleh...
2) Nasi Lemak Sambal Kerang and Telor Goreng by makcik yang jual depan Jalan Yap Kwan Seng tuh.
3) Vanilla Ice Creams, Durian Ice Creams and Jagung Ice Creams. Best la ice cream durian, belum cuba belum tahu!
4) Fettucini Carbonara. Perrrhhh...super hedonistic fantastic bombastic!

Four Websites I Visit Daily

1) MMLSCyber. Kata student, tengok pon portal hok berkaitan ngan student la..
2) OnlineCyber. Samala ni, portal untuk student gak nih..
3) LowYat.Net. Tengok interesting stuff on sale, tak pernah beli pon tapi saja la window shopping.
4) mail.yahoo.com.

Oh, kadang kadang tu blog hopping la jugak but I spend less time on the net as I dont have an internet connection at the house i'm renting. Gile, takde internet connection, mati kering aku.

Four Places I Would Rather Be Right Now

Uhh, nowhere. I'd rather be here more than anywhere else in the world, for the moment at least.

Four Bloggers I am Tagging

1) Ummi Indah(dah dah la menaip pasal 'jom pegi pasar tuh...')
2) Adibah (dasar pandang ke timur ko memang commendable, tapi apa kata ko deviate sekejap attention ko from all those Japanese elements and isi tag aku nih..oh and aku nak la Asian Kung-Fu Generation Live concert tuh!)
3) Adila (aku tau Sento emails ada sikit jer skarang...takyah tunjuk rajin2 sgt...tak kemananya meebo tuh! hehehe)
4) Err sapa sapa yang mengenali diri ku ini(hahaha..pohyos ahadiat akashah sikit..)

p/s: Dang..just realised, I don't know that much guy bloggers on the net. Must be a 'ghey' thing. NOT!

Month 7, Day 6: Lautan Bara Api Lagi!

2006-02-16T16:53:00.000+08:00

Sungguh sunyi dan lengang multimedia computing lab nih pada waktu petang. Rain is pouring heavily outside and I'm waiting for my five o'clock control theory tutorial, which starts in less then twenty minutes. Boring la classes banyak gaps nih, lautan bara api betul nak menunggu. Wednesdays are actually not that bad(not counting the one o'clock class that I had rush to but then found out that it was cancelled at the last minute!), the worst must be Tuesdays. Eight o'clock is Random Processing, then its Instrumentation at eleven, Control Theory at two and finally the penutup tirai for the day is Computer Graphics at six. SIX o'clock in the evening tuh!!

Lautan bara api sungguh!

Uh oh, akak tuh nak tutup lab. I better go solat Asar before class starts.

Okay, finished Control Theories and just came in for the Comp Graphics class at six. Came in, wondered where everyone was(class was empty), sat down for five minutes, fiddled with the handphone for awhile and started to wonder if there actually was any tutorial for Comp Graphics today. Mana pegi sumer orang nih??

Then I remembered, tutorials for Comp Graphics commences on week three. Aiyaaaa...

So here I am sitting at the lecturer's desk, misusing campus property. As I write here, everything is projected onto the white screen behind me. Yes, the computer is connected to the projector.

I AM THE COOLEST!

Covers the whole screen! Cool!

Okay, okay, enough childish behaviours.

So what does it feel like to be a student again? Hmm, tahla, susah nak describe. Feels weird, a mixture of familiarities and unfamiliarities. The lecture theaters all look the same, halls are all the same, and the spot behind the library is still being used as a smoking spot. But there is something different la, though I can't put my finger on it. God, I shouldn't be here in the first place, obviously it feels really weird!

I think the mem besar puts it aptly what it feels like to go back to school when last weekend I went back home and had dinner with her,

mem besar: so camne rasa going back to school?
me: uh..so and so la mak..
mem besar: hmmmm?
me: uh..weird sikit la..
mem besar: *chuckles* padan muka!
me: har har mak..

She jests. She's taking this rather well if I may say so. Luckily the bos besar wasnt at the table, kalau tidak...habislaaaaaaa.

Oh well, as the sign on one of the computers at a cyber cafe in Serdang says(went there to print my notes last monday), its not where you are that's important, its where you want to be. Sounds mighty cliche right? But I kid you not, it was there. I guess its like those kata kata perangsang that you emblazone on the wall of your secondary school class that goes like 'study biar lepak, result biar gempaq' or something like that.

What I want to be is all that matters. Yosh!! Ganbatte!

Month 7:

2006-02-10T19:17:00.000+08:00

Month 6, Day 25: Conviction

2006-02-05T18:39:00.000+08:00

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall,

All the king's horses and all the king's men,

Couldn't put Humpty together again.

Lucky I'm not Humpty eh?

Month 6, Day 23: Catcha Later Alligator

2006-02-03T18:06:00.000+08:00

Last day as permanent. Wont be coming in on weekdays anymore. No need to wake up at three in the morning anymore.

Cleared my desk and stored away all relevant files onto the shared drive for easy access in the coming weeks. Uploaded all relevant pictures up to photopages, so that I can remind myself what fun it was working full time here. Gonna have to come back later to get the BMW and all those pay slips and important documents(cant take it home today, kinda ghey for a full grown man to straddle a miniature BMW on the LRT, even if its a Z4).

Ten minutes past six, time to log off. Catcha later alligators.

Month 6, Day 16: Fishing with Sayuri

2006-01-27T10:23:00.000+08:00

Haih..work is getting a tad boring lately...

Its not so much as the work(although it is getting mighty repetitive and dull), but I think its more of the realisation that I wont be working here anymore in a few days. Although I had several 'pow wow' sessions with the manager and those in HR with regard to changing my status from permanent to part time, but that is still in the discussion and there is still no definite answer from HR as of yet. Whether or not the status can be changed or not, it doesn't really bother me that much, I have enough savings to last me those four months I'll be spending my time in school. Without a doubt I will definitely miss those end of month bank account checking sessions that makes me go all "pakcik kayo!".

Oh yeah, I'm going back to school in a few days, to finish what needs finishing. What can I say, you reap what you sow, be it good or bad. As she aptly puts it, better late than never.

Such a doll..

So how is life different with the sudden realisation that I will be leaving work soon you ask?

Well, for starters your perceived threat level in the delicate balance of office politics is certainly lower than before. If once you were 'potential advesary' material, you are now essentially just an 'office boy'. Once your presence warranted a DEFCON 5 security alert, nowadays you can't even raise the village bedok alarm. Not that it matters that much to me, with the knowledge that one day I will have to leave and go back to school, career advancement kinda took a back seat all these while.

However, with this shift of position, as you are no longer considered a threat to everyone's career goals(tak taula if one can actually advance in this organisation, the pyramid is just too small), you suddenly find yourself suddenly privy to information that was previously 'on a need to know basis'. Not that I actually bothered with the shady on goings at the office, its just that to a certain extent people actually want someone to listen to their grievances and their 'aspirations'. You just sit there looking all innocent and impressionable and suddenly you find yourself bombarded with all these fresh new information! Then you sit with the enemy and listen to their side of the story. Its like opening a floodgate! Suddenly everything makes sense! The whys, the hows, the whens. No more conspiracies!

Reckon I'll change my name to Deep Throat and peddle all these information to the highest bidder. Knowledge is definately power.

Tentative place holders are no longer valid. Pay increment next month? Thanks, but no thanks. Training rescheduled for next week? Uhh, lemme check my schedule, why yes I'm free for the rest of next week, but I wont be here though! Keeping track of escalated cases? Yawwwn..can you kindly ask Edwin to keep an eye on it? He's still new and is very eager to prove himself to be a valuable asset to the organization.

In terms of motivation, I can actually feel it ebbing away day by day. You can't blame me, there is no end goal in sight here. Work has actually degraded to just that, plain old work. I can understand why management everywhere would like a one month notice prior to resignation, it grants a chance for them to head hunt for a replacement. But in all actuality, it is a very unproductive period for both parties, the said person has already set his sights elsewhere and upper echelon can no longer delegate critical tasks to this individual anymore. Why would he bother? In one months time he'll be having his power lunches elsewhere anyway.

But I do intend to finish my time here in an honourable fashion. What was started well, must be ended well. Even if I do have less conviction towards work nowadays, personal values are still intact, and I do believe I have upheld my end of the bargain as a dependable employee thus far. Like Ras says, "Masuk cara baik, keluar cara baik".

Okay, I'm getting a little groggy here. Clocks showing eleven at night which is way way waaay past my bedtime already, and yet I still haven't packed for tomorrows Kenyir trip. I think tomorrow will be a very long drive. Bos besar isn't really fond of driving fast on the road, thus the bos kecik will have to be the loyal wingman and do the same.

Hmm, fishing whilst reading a good book does sound quite appealing. I think I'll try to finish Memoirs of a Geisha there.

Month 6:

2006-01-11T10:35:00.000+08:00

Hmm..month six..

Month 5, Day 29: Selamat Korban Raya Haji

2006-01-10T14:29:00.000+08:00

Selamat Hari Raya Korban! But to those who were with me this morning on the Ops floor, and to those who will be spending the rest of today at the office, I wish you all a Selamat Korban Raya Haji.

Yes, we are korbans. Moooo..

The client recently implemented a partner alliance exchange program where the client's partners get to access a portal specifically for the purpose of managing the growing number of corporate customers all around the world. It was launched yesterday and it meant that aside from the client's customers calling/emailing in requesting support, their partners will also have access to our services. And for the whole of Asia Pacific, there will only be two partner alliance agents handling this new program, thats me and Carl.

Though I no longer spearhead(biarlaa..tau pohyos..tapi saja nak try guna this word in a sentence) corporate support as Carl is handling it right now, I am remaining as a backup until early February, which is just a few days away. So technically, we are indispensible(yer yer..pohyos..tapi malas la nak argue semantics..baru balik keje..penat sikit) at the moment. Sounds really cool right? Well it is, that is until Raya Haji came.

Both are requesting a leave for Raya Haji. But if both of us are gone, sapa nak man the station? Considering the fact that Carl is going back to Johor for Raya, I gave in. After all, I wont be doing corporate anymore after February, so I guess this one day wont really bring about any harm.

So here I am spending Raya Haji at work with Zhaf, Ras, Shai and Jim. Everyone say "Mooooooooo....!"

Here the korbans are seen enroute to As'Syakirin KLCC mosque for the sunat Aidil'Adha prayers. Ni semua korban gangster, tak takut orang kampung punyer!

Salah seorang daripada korban tak dapat menahan sebak di dada kerna tidak dapat pulang ke kampung halaman pada Raya Haji. Sabar Shai, kite kena stick together, kalau ko tertinggal, nanti ko kena pick dengan orang kampung! Kuatkan semangat anda! Dah..dah..meh meh gi solat...

Tak pernah jejak Masjid As'Syakirin KLCC at eight in the morning on a Raya day, so in the interest of following the 'carpe diem' mantra, ambik la satu ala tourist snapshot.

On the way back to the office, selesai sudah solat sunat Aidil'Adha. Kan dah kata gangster. Get rich or die tryin' yoh!

Shai's back to his old self again. Camtula, barula Kiwi gangsta rappah!

So that is how I spent my day at the office on Raya Haji. Well, the highlight must have been the solat sunat Aidil'Adha, the rest of the day was basically like any other day. But still, it is Raya Haji after all. So to everyone out there, be it on leave, vacation, holiday, unpaid leave, medical leave, pretend medical leave, emergency leave, pretend emergency leave, or even if you are at work, Selamat Hari Raya Aidil'Adha. Have a good one!

Month 5, Day 20: Goodbye 2005, Hello 2006!

2006-01-01T11:36:00.000+08:00

Sunday morning, January 1st. 2006.

Happy new year everyone!

Yesterday we had relatives come over for the end of year pot luck. It's become somewhat of a custom for a few years now, everyone gathering here for the new years eve, staying until midnight to watch the new year fireworks over Kuala Lumpur.

The mem besar made lamb chops and barbeque steaks, Mak Long came over with spaghettis, Abang Firhad and Kak Ina brought satay, Uncle Din and Cek Ton brought their trademark caramel cake, Cek Nor and Uncle Zamani brought these deliciously stuffed baulus that you eat with this really delicious tartar like sauce dips, and Ayah Su and Aunty Fida brought these really fat Japanese Mackerel fishes for the barbeque and also an orange sponge cake for Aiman's birthday. It was really a feast! I'm having left overs of yesterday for breakfast and I must say, I am not complaining one bit! And that orange sponge cake, oh my oh my, never thought fruit cakes could taste so good. I might just forego my cheese cake cravings for a moment and fall prey to these fruit cakes for awhile.

Nah, who am I kidding! Cheese is cheese!

Oh, Happy Birthday Aiman! Kinda cool to celebrate your birthday on the 31st. of December aint it? I bet next year you'll get bundles upon bundles of presents on your birthday!

Okay, time to go for a shower, the purist capitalist is gonna come over in a minute and we're going to a friend's wedding in Cheras. Just wanted to take this opportinuty to write down an entry in honour of the new year and wish everyone a safe and happy new year!

New year resolutions? Nah, I have resolutions and short term goals in place already. No need to burden myself with new resolutions even if it is the new year.

Happy new year babe! Hope you're having a blast cycling around Angkor Wat!

Miss ya!

Sunday evening, January 1st. 2006. Just got back from friend's wedding, apparently it was in Seri Gombak. *slaps head*

On second thought, perhaps I'll make a new year resolution after all.

I want to be a better muslim, a more dependable brother, a more responsible son, a more hard working worker and a good colleague to my office mates. Not to say that I am the worst of the lot in all of the above, just that there is always room for improvement. I guess, what I'm saying is that I want to be a better person.

Too broad you say? Yeah, I know. So I'm gonna complement it with smaller goals. First on my list is to make ironing all my work shirts during the weekends a must do, that way I'll have one less thing to worry for the rest of my week.

Yosssssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!

p/s: Oi Carl, quit sending me messages about Peter Pan laaaaa! I get it, you're at the concert already. Beriye kata arituh Peter Pan girly la, tak macho la apela..last last die gak yang pegi. Pohyos!!

Month 5, Day 18: Gile Kenyang!

2005-12-30T23:05:00.000+08:00

Yeah, right now I am so full I feel really bloated.

Drove the mem besar to Carrefour just now for dinner and grocery shopping. Had KFC for dinner as neither of us could decide what to have for dinner. I settled for that two piece meal, six pieces of cheesy wedges and a side of that bandito pocket thingy, whereas the mem besar ordered only nuggets and mineral water(said something about keeping her BMI in check). Finished dinner and went to the supermarket to find stuff to restock the kitchen.

We were in the fruits aisle when suddenly my phone rang..

oba chan: abaran...awak katner nih?
me: kat carrefour..mak tgh beli groceries
oba chan: eh abaran..nak mintak tolong!
me: aa..mende?
oba chan: kite org baru balik from tgk King Kong, tapi stranded kat Jalan Jelatek nih..
me: uhh..apsal??
oba chan: minyak kereta kite orang habis!!!
me: ...

Told mem besar about the predicament oba chan was in and she just laughed, commented something like "ish bebudak nih..nak berjalan tgk wayang tapi tanak isi minyak" or something like that. I told her that I would go get them the petrol whilst she finished her shopping and we would meet at the parking lot downstairs after she finished.

So I rushed downstairs, started the car, dropped by the Projet station beside Carrefour, bought a bottle of mineral water for two ringgit forty cents, emptied the mineral water bottle, filled it with two ringgit's worth of petroleum and started my way to Jalan Jelatek.

Did you notice that one liter of mineral water is two ringgit forty cents, whereas one liter of petrol is only two ringgit? What's with the additional forty cents? Oh yeah, must be the bottle.

Arrived at Jalan Jelatek and saw oba chan and her friends sitting in the car. She came out to greet me all grinning and going "teheheheheeee...". Hahahah, yeah yeah. Mula mula merajuk sebab orang tak nak belanja pegi tengok Peter Pan, skang dah baik plak ekkkkk..

I think her friends like me. I was pouring the petrol into the car whilst me and oba chan were talking about the King Kong movie she just finished watching. She said it was really good, I didn't think a movie about a huge gorilla walking around New York was that interesting, and her friends just giggled at my comment. Once in awhile they would strain their necks out of the car window and just watched me slowly pour the petrol and kept giggling at me. I dont think I made any funny jokes though. Hence the 'think they like me' idea.

Please do bear in mind that the operative word here is 'think'. The assumption here is not backed by any concrete evidence and it could even be a little unfounded, but as my sisters like to use it so much, I'll just use it here for I am really lazy to go into the intricacies of how my mind operates,

"Whateverrr..".

Do emphasize the 'R's when you're trying to pronounce this word. Better still, make that 'W' sign with your hands if you can. It will make you super duper ultra cool. Trust me. Just don't go doing it in public though.

Okay, back to the 'out of petrol and went to get my sister petrol' story. Finished filling up the kancil's tank with petrol and started the car. The moment the engine roared to life they all went all yays and thank yous. Had a hero complex for a moment there. Reminded oba chan to come home tomorrow for the end of year pot luck and made my way back to Carrefour to pick up the mem besar with her groceries.

Quite an interesting day if I may say so.

p/s: I really have to quit repeating this song over and over in my winamp..

Month 5, Day 17: Gile Lapar!

2005-12-29T06:51:00.000+08:00

I can contend with turning in early and missing all those nice shows on the tele(there aren't anything worth watching anyway, except perhaps on Wednesdays when theres the History Channel slot on Discovery), having to iron my work shirt real early(except if I manage to somehow force myself to iron everything during the weekends, which is rarely the case), or even the fact that I have to drag myself out of bed at half past three(thats AM, come on, get with the program already!) everyday and fumbling for the toothbrush with my eyes half closed.

But what gets to me the most is perhaps the hunger.

You see, the mind is not fully awake the moment you're jolted out of bed, it takes a few minutes for it to adjust to reality. For the first few minutes, everything seems to move very slow and you seem to be walking around, brushing your teeth and getting ready for work in a daze. Tau tau jer dah ready to go, with my flash card neatly tucked in my breast pocket.

The mem besar is sometimes awake around this hour(perhaps awaken by the lights turned on in the kitchen) so she usually makes a cup of spirulina drink(dont ask me what it is, I think its made of sea weed or something, which apparently promotes good health). I am not really fond of this drink, it tastes a little weird(anything that tastes like medicine, is green in colour and promotes a healthy lifestyle is bound to taste weird). But I think the mem besar purposely makes them every morning before I go to work because at this hour I am just too groggy and too lazy to put up any sort of resistance. Well, that's my theory at least. I just go gulp gulp gulp gulp, wince a little and just leave for work.

Sometimes if there are left overs, she reheats them for me. Her logic is that if I don't finish it, no one else will. I think she sees me as this monster or something, a creature with a very hollow abyss for a stomach. But in all fairness, we voracious creatures do have to contend with a slow waking mind too, which in turn makes the stomach unaware that it actually needs sustenance to get through the day. It just goes "yawwwnn..you wanna wake up and go to work then just go, I'm gonna continue curling into this neat ball and snooze a few more times..".

Around 6 it starts to wake up...

Growwwll...
Now where do I find food at six in the morning?
Grooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwlll!!!!!!
Oi! Oi! Malula sikit kat orang! Kat ofis nih! Ish!
.....growl.....growl....growl growl growl?
Shhh..sabar..sabar..tu la tadi tanak makan!
GROWWWWWWWWWWLLLLL!!
......

Tahan je la sampai seven, wait until the makcik opens her nasi lemak stall downstairs and get some really really really really really tasty nasi lemak sambal kerang and telor goreng! Fuh, memang heavanistic, hedonistic, sambaliciously goodinistic bombastic! Serious, its that good!

Perhaps I'm just too starved for food, can't really register any taste, semua sedap jer. Or perhaps the taste buds are still asleep.

Hmm, starting a sentence with an 'Or' looks kinda weird. I think its grammatically wrong. Or is it just me? Hmm, yeah it looks weird.

Sometimes GK comes in with these Panda biscuits that are like biskut mary but has delicious strawberry fillings. She's always bragging around if she gets the 'cow with superman cape' biscuit or the 'cow doing something funny' biscuit(its a girlie cutey thingy, I don't get it). As for me, food is food. Cute ke, cun melecun sampai melecur ke, berkilat sampai air liur dribbles around the mouth ke, I just go "Ngap! gobble gobble....aaah! Ada lagi tak?". Art appreciation can come later, its too early in the morning to deal with bodily function coups.

If Carl comes in early, he'll drop by some 7-11 and get himself some yogurt drink. Ish..takkanla nak pau yogurt drink kot? Gile ghey...

Sometimes I ponder the thought of bringing something like a lunch box to work. You know, something that I can pack sandwiches or sausages in. On second thought, it just shouts kindergaten too much, I might get picked on by the bigger boys and get my lunch box taken away. I don't think my mental state can deal with the loss of a yellowish lunch box that comes with its own thermos and a picture of Superman and the Justice League. If its Spiderman, maybe I'll live, but I'll have the scars for the rest of my life.

Hey, come to think of it, I've never had a lunch box my entire life! I think I'm missing something here.

Jeremy has scheduled a conference call at half past seven, something about learning to use a tool for supporting the client's partners. More work for me. More importantly, pukul berapa nak turun beli nasi lemak nih!!!! Haih....

growl growl growl?
Aaaa...tau. Kejap..kejap...sheesh....

Month 5, Day 16: Deghak!

2005-12-28T19:59:00.000+08:00

Bile balik? Rabu? Hmm..

Rabu, Khamis, Jumaat, Sabtu, Ahad, Isnin, Selasa and then Rabu. Tujuh hari. Hmm, boleh kot.

Boleh ni. Macho beb, macho macho! Whats that word? Ganteng ek? Aaa..ape saje la. Tak sure pon makna die, tak sure pon if it can be used in this context, main pakai jer nih.

Haih..suka betul la minah ni berjalan. Deghak!(Betul ke spelling ni? Spell checker blogspot takde support for local dialects la. Selamber je la..janji rock!).

Enjoy yourself babe! Jangan jadi terrorist/freedom fighter/wildlife activist(trying to cover all the bases here) lak! Jangan lupa balik dah ler..

p/s: Saja jer buat dramatic sikit..I know you'll be back..saje nak try meng'corny'kan diri. Sudah..sudah....tak usah disebut sebut lagi..memang ayat terakhir itu corny.

p/s2: Haih..suddenly Boney M sounds really tempting la plak kan..

game/cube: On second thought, mahal sangat la plak kan the tickets, even if it is Boney M.

x/box: Ishk..tapi Boney M tuh! Rah Rah Rah Rasputin tuh! Sungguh la hedo!

x/box360: Miss ya too! (aih, mana boleh asyik kalah jer, nak gak menang. bak kata mamsy "kalau asyik kalah jer..ape ke cerrrrr???")

G/BA: 'mamsy' ishk..ishk..*geleng kepala* this is really a case of creativity gone too far, either that or saja ngade2. I think its more of the latter. Yeah, I think its more of the latter. Tu belum masuk that 'B' word lagi tuh! Mana mana tah dapat idea..

Month 5, Day 15: Sleepy

2005-12-27T00:14:00.000+08:00

I am so tired, and so very sleepy. But somehow rather I just feel like sitting here and not do anything. Been quite some time I have not sat in front of the computer doing nothing and just listen to mp3s in the middle of the night.

Of course I have to go to work tomorrow, but I wont need to come in at four. Corporate product training is scheduled for today and tomorrow, so I'm granted a brief respite from following the normal NZ Daylight Saving Time. Today and tomorrow I follow normal Malaysian working hours, I come in at nine like normal human beings do.

Still, I did have to come in for work today eventhough it being a Christmas holiday for everyone else. Oh well, win some lose some. China doesn't have a holiday for Christmas, as do the Thailanders, which means someone has to do the supporting for them.

Those slave drivers, I can actually picture myself rowing one of those ancient long boats with a whip master lashing my back and going "Row! Row! Greeks are dying!". Or was it Romans? I forget. I think it was definately Greeks.

Okay, perhaps I went too far with that. Just watched Troy a few days ago and I couldn't help but find the similarities. Forgive me, the body is tired, the mind is a tad weary from an overload of EPOs, PRPs, IPSs, IDSs, virtual IPSs, virtual IDSs, MVTs, MERs and a whole bunch of other acronyms that sounds real cool when you throw it at the average joe on the street. Oh well, at least now I know what they mean now instead of going "Uhhmmmmmm...did you say Webshield or Weathershield?". Yeap, it happened once and I remember saying "I'm sorry, we do not support Weathershield". Although I was absolutely, positively to a hundred percent sure that no corporation in the world makes money controlling the weather, I did thought it was a play on words or something. How was I to know at that time? Dulux has Weathershield, why not our client?

I know, I'm not making sense. Perhaps I should turn in now. The pillow suddenly looks really inviting and my thought trail is just wandering by itself without a coherent driver at the reins.

I think I'll turn in now. Good night Asia Pacific! See you tomorrow! Can't wait to catch the morning LRT ride to work and catch the bright morning sun.

p/s:I know I'm gonna read this tomorrow and wonder whether I was under substance abuse or something. It sounds too chirpy(picture that chirpy sound that you usually hear in those Bugs Bunny or Road Runner cartoon reels) it just borders on sanity. Nah, I don't do crack la! Thats one vice I can proudly say I'm not addicted to.

Month 5, Day 13: The Presents Under The Tree

2005-12-25T18:49:00.000+08:00

This week has been somewhat of an interesting week for me.

Tuesday was Secret Santa day at the office. You don't know how the Secret Santa works? You write everyone's name on these small pieces of paper and stuff them all in a hat(preferrably that red hat with a white fluffy ball that Santa wears), then you go around the office asking everyone to pick out a name from that hat. The name that you draw is the person you will give a gift for Christmas. Sounds mighty neat doesn't it?

I drew one of my male colleagues at work. Now what do I get a guy for Christmas? I knew this guy, was kinda close, but I don't even have an inkling of what he would like for Christmas. Him being still a bit young, so I decided to give him a present that perhaps he could wear someday, a little something to 'dress for success' so to speak. I may not be capable of granting him a succesful career(that one he has to do it on his own), but at least I could give him something he could wear when he is.

Yeah, I know. It's kinda weird how my mind works sometimes, half the time I don't even understand myself. Really!

Now what did I get from my Secret Santa you ask? Drum roll please!!!!!

A spanking brand new BMW Z4 Roadster! No, seriously! I kid you not!

Yeap, that's me and my new BMW Z4 Roadster. Oh come on, you didn't seriously think that someone would actually give me a real roadster did you? But who knows? See that key in my right hand there? It could be the keys to a real roadster parked downstairs you know!

I wish. Someday maybe. But still, thank you for the roadster Santa, whoever you are. It may not rival the previous post's 'TADA!", but it still lends the same effect in its own way. If you're reading this Santa, I may not say thank you to you in public(hey I don't even know who you are, but if I do, lets not be too ghey and hug and what not shall we..), but I'll definitely say it here. Thank you.

Friday we gave our Korean Spymaster his parting gift. He's returning to Australia next week(A Korean Spymaster returning to Australia? I know, its complicated) after spending half a year training us on how to 'support' the whole of Asia Pacific on the client's software, he's finally returning home with his family. We decided with a gift that would remind him a little bit of Malaysia, and this is what he looks like in it..

So there you go Yunki, your very own Baju Melayu. A humble gesture of appreciation from me, Carl, Zack and Ras. As for the buttons, that one you'll have to come back here and get a set for yourself. Remember, its called Wisma Yakin. Just take the LRT and go to Masjid Jamek, you wont miss it. If you still somehow manage to miss it, just give us a call, we'll go pick you up. You do have our toll free number right?

Today I went to watch 'Walter and Gromit, and the Curse of the WereRabbit'. Let me just say this once, this movie is totally cool! Went there to catch Narnia, but alas we weren't that lucky(hey you win some, you lose some I say), so we opted for Walter and Gromit instead, or should I say I opted for it, she on the other hand wanted to watch 'Baik Punyer Cilok!' You we're kidding right? You were right? Please tell me you were kidding. Tebu chan came home today hoping to watch Narnia but instead followed 'majority ruling' and watched 'Baik Punyer Cilok!' instead. Let's just say she didn't come home as bright and cheery as she left this morning.

Awwww...okay okay, when you come back from Cambodia we'll catch 'Baik Punyer Cilok!'. After all, at one point we must support our local home grown industry right? There, I've said it. The ball is in your court now, take it and I'll follow. Just don't forget to come back though! Oh, and do get me one of those landmines will you, always wanted my own 'Made in the US of A' landmine.

Lastly, let me just put one last picture as a reminder to myself.

Take a look at the presents under the tree. Today, the presents are no more, they have all been given away to everyone. The days when the presents were still there are no more, its the same as all the days before it. One day, all of these will just be memories, what I put in today, I will reap tomorrow. A dear friend once told me about the concept of 'living the day to the fullest', which I might say I could not grasp at that time. Perhaps I was too burdened by the notion of a grandiose scheme where I am finally standing where I want to stand, and only then do I give in. But what about the time in between? Do I just sulk? Time still moves regardless of what I do.

So I have decided. I will not live my life wondering about the 'What ifs' anymore. Today will not come again, yesterday has already gone, and the presents will never be under the tree again.

What the future holds, only He knows. All I know is that what needs to be done, will be done, what needs to be weathered will be weathered, what promises I made to myself I will keep, but I'm going to live at the same time too. If not, time will be wasted. If not, I'll look back and wonder about the what ifs.

Thanks ex support group leader. Though our understanding of the phrase might slightly differ a little, but I get it now. I owe you one.

Month 5, Day 4: Ta Daaa!!

2005-12-16T07:44:00.000+08:00

What is happiness? That silver lining at the end of the cloud? That rainbow after the rain? Hmm..too cliche.

Happiness is what you make of it.

But it doesn't hurt to have someone give you that little nudge in the right direction either! In not so many words, it just goes..

"TA DAAAAAA!"

Thanks babe, you just made my day you know! *wink*

Month 5, Day 3: Wishes

2005-12-15T14:17:00.000+08:00

What do I want exactly?

Everyone is a little hyped up at the office, Christmas is around the corner. We've got a miniature Christmas tree set up, complete with those sparkling bell thingies and also running lights, everyone's Christmas wishes written down on these small cards and hung on the leaves, and boxes of the client's software strewn all over the base as presents(they're empty..budget is a little tight I guess).

Once in a while I wander to the tree and take a look at what my colleagues wished for. I could go on and on about what we all wished for, but I think you can just stroll over to GK's blog and take a look for yourself. Gile rajin amoi ni salin one by one everyone's wishes(she went back and forth from her workstation to the tree, copying everyones wishes). Which one's mine you ask? The most hedonistic wish you can find in that list, that's mine.

On second thought, Shai's wishes topped out everyone elses, you can't wish for everything la Shai. And for those who wished for more wishes, it wont work. If everyone wished for that, no one would come to work, the world would be too happy a place to live in and everyone would just become degenerates. Sitting around all day doing nothing gets boring after awhile you know, trust me, I know.

World peace? Can I say Miss Congeniality? Still, it is a vey selfless wish, very admirable.

But what do I want exactly? What does everyone want from life exactly? Wealth beyond your wildest dreams? Power beyond your wildest imaginations? Success beyond even your mind can comprehend? Fame? A mansion in the Caribbean? A yacht filled with bouncy nymphos? A car that does zero to a hundred in six seconds? A PS2? An Xbox? What?

What do you want exactly?

Me? I'll settle for one and only one wish.

*squints real hard* I wish that one day, when I retire, I retire tired.

p/s: gile ngantuk la petang petang ni...I wish that(eh..banyak plak wish die nih..)

Month 4, Day 25: Hari ini hari Rabu!

2005-12-07T05:52:00.000+08:00

Pada pagi yang hening ini, saya sedang menghabiskan masa dengan membaca surat khabar versi internet. Antara rencana menarik pada hari ini, Proton melancarkan Savvy versi transmisi AMT yang dianggap sebagai suatu inovasi di dalam bidang permotoran tempatan(sayangnya saya kurang berminat dengan model Savvy, rupanya tak ubah seperti kura kura, maafkan saya Proton!), Barisan Nasional berjaya mendapat 129 majoriti undian pada pilihanraya kecil kawasan Pengkalan Pasir semalam, wang syiling 1 ringgit tidak lagi di anggap sah laku mulai hari ini dan hari ini bermulalah LIMA 2005 yang diadakan di Langkawi selama enam hari.

Oh, sebelum saya terlupa, harga taugeh naik 10 sen mulai hari ini, daripada 70 sen sekati ke 80 sen. Saya kurang pasti jika ini akan membawa perubahan besar kepada gaya hidup kita, tetapi kenaikan 10 sen tetap suatu kenaikan, jadi saya tetap pasrah bagi pihak ibu ibu dan isteri yang perlu mengeluarkan tambahan 10 sen setiap minggu. Perlukah saya mengurangkan kemasukan taugeh saya pada setiap hari? Tak perlu risau, saya memang kurang gemar makan sayur.

Baiklah, baiklah! Saya akan makan lebih banyak sayur. *teringat buah apple yang tertinggal di dalam kereta pagi tadi*

Jangan salahkan saya kerana menghabiskan masa kerja dengan membuat rencana tak berasas pagi ini. Rangkaian Jaring Persendirian Maya(Virtual Private Network, adakah betul alih bahasa saya ini? saya kurang pasti) tidak dapat dihubungi hari ini, mungkin Laluan Pagar(Gateway) masih di selenggara lagi. Jadi saya tidak dapat menjalankan tugas saya hari ini. Saya hanya menghabiskan masa dengan menjawab panggilan telefon bagi pihak Tetangga-1(Tier-1) , dan itu pun untuk panggilan Xtra Telco sahaja.

Ayahanda dan bonda akan bertolak ke Perlis tengah hari ini, jadi mulalah kehidupan bujang saya sehingga ke hari Sabtu nanti. Kawan kawan ingin mengatur parti buih(foam party) di rumah, ala Hugh Heffner(sungguh hedonistik!) tetapi apakan daya, agak sukar untuk mengadakanya di rumah saya kerana ia penuh dihiasi dengan ayat ayat suci Al-Quran. Saya boleh bayangkan apa akan terjadi jika saya bersetuju dengan idea ini, mungkin setiap orang akan dipanah petir dan pulang ke rumah rentung. Tetapi, jika anda masih lagi berminat, silalah bawa penebat haba sendiri, lebih baik jika disertakan dengan pengalir elektrik bumi(grounding cable) dan juga topi kalis elektrik.

Lagipun, di mana mungkin saya mencari arnab arnab(playboy bunnies) untuk bertempiaran ke sana dan ke mari? Berhenti berdegup tak tentu hala jantung ku!(be still my beating heart!).

Howwwwwwwwwwwl! (serigala meraung bunyinya sama sahaja, tak kira apa jua bahasa)

Mungkin kehidupan seharian takkan ada perubahan. Baju memang sedia di seterika sendiri, cuma makan malam dan tengah hari perlu diusahakan sendiri, perlulah saya merajinkan diri untuk keluar mencari makanan. Jadi kalau malas, mati kebuluran lah saya.

Mungkin saya akan keluar berpeleseran di malam hari, kereta ibunda ada penghawa dingin! Cuba meluangkan masa menziarahi tompok tompok malam(night spots) bersama Carl. Oh, apa yang saya cakapkan ni, pukul 9 malam pon pakcik sudah keletihan dan merangkak-rangkak ke katil.

Enunciation. Saya rasa seumur hidup saya, hanya beberapa kali sahaja saya pernah mendengar orang mengucapkan perkataan tersebut, dan tidak pernah dalam suasana santai(err..casual). Mungkin saya menyerlah lambat(late bloom), tetapi sememangnya saya jarang mendengar perkataan ini diucapkan walaupun saya tahu apa maknanya. Saya kaget, kagum dan juga teruja! Mungkin itu yang membuatkan kamu unik?

you [shift+enter]
cease [shift+enter]
to [shift+enter]
amaze [shift+enter]
me [shift+enter]
! [enter]

Baiklah, cukuplah berfoya-foya untuk sehari, marilah kembali ke pangkal jalan.

Month 4, Day 23: Lautan Bara Api

2005-12-05T04:26:00.000+08:00

This morning it rained!

Woke up at about 3 this morning and heard the pitter patter of rain drops outside my window. When you hear the slow drops of rain hitting the metal awning, it really takes a lot of will power not to dig deeper under the heavy comforter and just bask in its warmth. I don't know, something about the sound, tup..tup..tup..tup, makes the body automatically curl up and the eye lids heavier.

Yeah, I still came to work. The things we do for money. It's just a thing we do you know, something that needs to be done whether you like it or not. So I'm not gonna gripe about it anymore, it's just routine.

A colleague of mine had pasted an examplatory email that she received from an irate customer(yes, examplatory is the right word) on her blog. I think it sums up exactly what we do everyday at work, dealing with problems. Still, its kinda funny sometimes to get emails that are written that way, you know, that little hint of sarcasm that the customer injects into their email, makes for an interesting read sometimes. You should listen to Carl's narration of the emails he gets in the mornings.

"Weh..weh..customer ni kan..die kan..." Here we go again...

Oh well, Microsoft's rolling out their own version of Security Suite anyway. If they pull this off, the software industry will be totally monopolized by the Goliath. They have their finger in almost all the major sector, gaming(the Age of Empires series to name one), internet browsing(Firefox is freeware, so that doesn't count as a threat) and not to mention entertainment media(Sonique is no more, and Winamp is just a substitute for Windows Media Player which is just too resource dependant on older machines). Should I go further about the OS sector? Nah, I reckon no ones ever heard of Mac OS/X, owning a Macintosh is just too much of a hassle. Why bother? Everyones on Windows anyway. The mem besar used to own a Macintosh back when Windows was still at version 3.1 for Workgroup, and I was so bewildered as to why I could play Frogger and Dig Dug on the bos besar's IBM, but not on the Mac. That was really a huge mystery for me back then. I think the question bugged me even more than where babies came from!

Me and my troubled childhood.

Diversification is a weapon. The trigger? Greed.

Oh, look at me going all hollier than thou on Bill Gates! I would've done the exact same thing if I were in his place, I would want to own EVERYTHING!!!!!!!! E V E R Y T H I N G ! ! When I'm done with softwares, branch into airlines and put Richard Branson to shame. Then its the retail industry, build these really really large shopping complexes all over the peninsular, ones that make Tescos and Carrefours look like cornershops, and divide the profit between all my siblings, just like what the Waltons did.

"Okay guys, Baka chan gets the Northern region to herself. Tebu chan and Oba chan, you guys split the Southern region amongst yourselves. Central region is mine, no touchy touchy! Oh, Nanao chan, you said I was fat smalam ek? Okay, no spoils for you. Nah just kidding, you'll share with me laa, mak wants you to be a doctor kan.."

So whats next? Technology. Routers, switches, access points, mainframes, hard drives, fiber optics etc. Import known brands and become a distributor. Reverse engineer the technology and produce our own. Yeah, early stages might be marred with plenty of revisions and defects, but thats what universities are for. Invest heavily on tertiary education, research on the engineering. It's actually very benificiary, granted I have the capital(with a chain of superstores and a fleet of airliners, I don't think it would be a problem), younger generations are exposed to local grown technology, research is made to better the product and who knows, it might just be the yardstick for other hardwares too.

Today is the age of CCNAs and CCNPs. One day, it might just be KCNAs and KCNPs. MCSEs? Oh, derang dah bungkus, wiped out already. Just like what IBM is nowadays, a hulking cyclops that only has one singular view of this world.

And when I have monopolized everything, what do I do with it? Oh, I don't know, settle down somewhere quiet, a small house that doesn't require that much cleaning. Fool around all day long, check on the stocks and how the business is doing once in awhile(oh by then I'd have hired experts to manage the business, all I have to do is just say 'yes' and 'no'), hire people once in awhile, fire people once in a while, go down to the regional office in khakis and pink loafers(whos gonna laugh at you when you hold the worlds economy in balance?), intimidate some of the staff, comment on the coffee, threaten to downsize one or two department, sit down at the cafetaria eating nasi lemak and going "damn..tak best tapi best...tak best tapi best", declare the next day a holiday, and at the end of the day come home to a nicely home cooked dinner with truffles as dessert.

But for now I'll just take it one step at a time. Without a doubt, I absolutely hate being stuck here, it's like the ceiling is up to my shoulders and I have to tilt my head a little, just so I could stand, and the neck is already aching. Being stuck, I hate it with all the fiber in my body. But it's something that needs to be weathered, a by product of a life spent in waste, in ignorance. A debt I have to repay to myself. Rome was not built in one day.

Never forget. Never ever forget.

Month 4, Day 19: Fly Away From Here

2005-12-01T16:58:00.000+08:00

gotta find a way, yeah, i can't wait another day
ain't nothin' gonna change, if we stay 'round here
gotta do what it takes, cuz it's all in our hands
we all make mistakes, yeah, but it's never too late
to start again, take another breath, and say another prayer

and fly away from here, anywhere, yeah, i don't care
we'll just fly away from here, our hopes and dreams are out there somewhere
won't let time pass us by, we'll just fly

if this life gets any harder now, it ain't ,no, never mind
you got me by your side
and any time you want, yeah, we can catch a train and
find a better place, yeah, cuz we won't let nothin'
or no one keep gettin' us down
maybe you and i, can pack our bags and hit the sky

and fly away from here
anywhere, yeah i don't care
we'll just fly away from here
our hopes and dreams are out there somewhere
won't let time pass us by, we'll just fly

do you see a bluer sky now?
you can have a better life now
open your eyes

cuz no one here can ever stop us
they can try but we won't let them
no way

maybe you and i, can pack our bags and say goodbye
and fly away from here, anywhere, honey, i don't care
we'll just fly away from here, our hopes and dreams are out there somewhere
fly away from here, yeah anywhere honey, i don't i don't i don't care

we'll just fly...

Make me never forget, make my will one that never falters, grant me the strength to shed the bad, grant me the strength to retain that is good, the strength to finish what needs finishing, the strength to stand where I want to stand. If this is a good thing, grant me my one and only wish, for now that is the only thing I wish for in this world, and only to You this humble servant places all his faith.

Month 4, Day 4: Good Morning!

2005-11-16T04:46:00.000+08:00

It's so hard to start an entry in the wee hours of the morning without beginning it with the phrase 'mengantuknyerr!!!'. Not that I slept late last night, not that I didn't get enough sleep, not that I woke up late this morning either. Maybe it's the somewhat sombre atmosphere at the office, everyone is still a little dazed, longing to return to their comfortable bed at home and snug themselves underneath those heavy covers. I know I do!

But this is not the case if this petite shopaholic girl or the korean spy master comes in early in the morning.

The shopaholic girl is usually so bubbly in the mornings, its really hard to ignore her. She always has stories to tell, about her shopping spree, about her boyfriend, about the clothes she wears, about how she has this totally huge craving for nasi lemak every morning but is ever so reluctant in buying one because it will make her look fat. Another colleague calls her microphone because she likes to talk whenever there's a 'barbeque'. I wonder, those roses she got the other day, i bet its from loudspeaker. Loudspeaker and microphone, now isn't that adorable! Okay okay GK, I'm just playing, and yeah your 'highlighted' hair looks nice.

The Korean spymaster(flew a MIG-29 Fulcrum from North Korea, bailed out over South Korea in a parachute but somehow rather floated all the way here) likes to listen to the music while he does his work. Music selection ranges from Winter Sonata(he is Korean after all) to the more inspiring Empire Death March(Star Wars..the one they play in the scene with all the stormtroopers and AT-T walkers). Now he's playing this tango song which I don't know it's title, but I think is the one from True Lies. Oh come on! Don't tell me you don't know that movie? It's the one where Arnold Schwarzenegger plays this undercover spy agent whose married to a normal housewife played by Jamie Lee Curtis, the one where they showed a Harrier VTOL strafing at a building filled with terrorists. Well, that tango song is played at the end of the movie.

I am so full of these utterly nonsense knowledge...

Anyway, back to the topic at hand. These two combinations make morning life kinda fun, fills the office with a little 'buzz' so to speak. Takdela rasa macam rubber tapper kerja pagi pagi buta, or a nelayan for that matter.

Ahh, but I'm still envious of those who are still soundly snug under the covers, neatly curled up in a small ball and slumbering peacefully. I bet Neko chan is, dreaming of McFlurrys I bet, or is it Spanish telenovelas? I kid..I kid..

What can I say, work is work. So a good morning to you all!

Month 4: Freedom!

2005-11-12T08:22:00.000+08:00

I'll just put in this entry just to remind me that it has been 4 months since I started this blog, that I have things that needs doing, and not to lose my way and direction. Insya'Allah.

"Aye, fight and you may die, run and you'll live. At least a while. And dying in your beds many years from now, would you be willing to trade all the days from this day to that for one chance, just one chance to come back here and tell our enemies that they may take our lives, but they'll never take our freedom. "

And if you're wondering what Wallace said after that famous speech at Stirling, he actually yelled "Alba gu brath!", which means 'Scotland Forever!' in Gaelic. Bet you didn't know that didntcha? Well now you know.

Month 3, Day 28: The Loudspeaker

2005-11-10T06:55:00.000+08:00

blablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablabla...

Why does this guy talk so much?

When you think about what he says, it's like he's just repeating what's been said previously, both by others and also by himself. It's like he is so eager to be 'seen' by everyone. Add to it the fact that his voice volume is always on LOUD setting, it gets kinda irksome once in a while. Here I am sitting at one end of the office, and his voice is always(ALWAYS) audible eventhough he sits at the other end of the office. Oh, and sometimes he can be very callous with his comments. Both these ingredients mixed together can become quite lethal, it might just bring about bodily harm if you know what I mean. Don't get me?

When I first started working here, we had a product training session for about 3 weeks. It was something like an orientation week, except that we were getting paid. One day, I had trouble getting the car started so I had to wake up my sister and ask her to drop me off at the LRT station. Suffice to say I was late for about 15 minutes. When I arrived, 'class' had not started and everyone was still milling around talking. I took a seat beside this guy, exchange good mornings and then continued with my own business. Then I heard his booming voice "EH HOW COME YOU ARE ALWAYS LATE AA?". Uhh..hello? Always? I barely known you for about less than a month and you've started using the word 'always'? I don't think you know me that well to be using such definite words.

I did contemplate the thought of rearranging his face, add a little red, move that nose a little to the right, going for the Picasso look. I know, it seems a little extreme right? But imagine all the eyes in the room staring at you, waiting for a response to this callous comment, which I might add is totally untrue!

Nah, I didn't do that, of course not! What do you think I am? Some neanderthal creature that lacks common sense? I'm gonna work with this guy for at least one year, so I decided to be civilized, gave him the best smile I could muster under the circumstances and just let it go. It's just life, not everyone is the same as you are I say. If I let everything get to me, I might as well live under a rock.

Some people get all worked up with work, some people don't. Some people play the office politic game really well, some don't. Some people do come to work and actually get their work done, while others are more preoccupied with boot licking. Some people needs that extra attention to motivate them to get the work done, some just soldier on despite any adversary. Which group do I belong to?

I'm in that group that blogs at work. Life is good. Believe it.

Now to get back to work.

Month 3, Day 27: Return to the Daily Grind

2005-11-09T05:06:00.000+08:00

How long has it been since I made an actual sensible entry? Seems like nowadays I'm more into writing 'incoherent ramblings' whenever I'm bored or when not occupied with anything rather than sitting down and actually gathering my thoughts and pen it down in a sensible way. Hmm, come to think of it, 'bored' might be the right term, but 'not occupied' might be the wrong word here. I may not be occupied with work or anything, but trust me, the mind is definately occupied *whirrrrrr*.

Now now, let's try to make this a coherent entry shall we.

Having fruit cakes for breakfast today, courtesy of a colleague at the office here. Didn't realise I was so hungry until I popped in the first slice and the stomach suddenly felt so hollow. There's been a large amount of cakes and cookies deposited on the center cupboard of the office here as a result of the Deepa Raya celebrations. From the Raya side theres the ever so common London almond(why London? they celebrate raya too izzit? or is it because this cookie originated there?), pineapple tarts and all these colourful cookies. From the Deepavali side theres all these cookies(or is it crackers?) which I don't know what their names are, except for the common murukku. So it's something like beraya at the office, without little kids hounding you around for green packets.

Oh, and what has become of kids nowadays? They are so obsessed with those little green packets! And they have the gall to actually haggle about the amount they receive. Yeah, I was a kid once, and yeah I admit to being so ecstatic when getting all these green packets during raya. But I did not, under any circumstances put the green packets up to the light in front of everyone, scrutinize the content, shake the packet a little and go '3 ringgit jer????!'. Count your blessings its 3 ringgit little man. If it we're up to me you would have gotten only seringgit! Luckily the 'mem besar' is extremely fond of kids and she insisted on not being stingy. Luckily she delegated the task of preparing these packets to me. If it were up to 'bos besar', he would've forgotten altogether, there would not be any green packets at all and you'd be going home empty handed. How lady luck was on your side!

Oh, I got duit raya too, 20 ringgit altogether. I don't know whether to gloat or just slink to some corner and curl into this small ball. Hmm, I guess I shouldn't worry, others get a lot more than that. 20 ringgit is still considered within 'respectable' limits. 30 ringgit, now that's a lot!

Time to log out now. Sky High is waiting.

Oh, I hope its not too late to wish everyone a Selamat Hari Raya and Maaf Zahir dan Batin.

Month 3, Day 20: Ramadhan Nights 30

2005-11-02T04:27:00.000+08:00

Fadhilat Terawikh Malam Ketiga puluh: Allah S.W.T beri penghormatan kepada orang yang berterawikh pada malam terakhir ini yang teristimewa sekali, lalu berfirman:

"Hai hambaku, makanlah semua jenis buah buahan yang kau ingini makan di dalam syurga, dan mandilah engkau daripada air syurga yang bernama Salsabila, serta minumlah air daripada telaga yang dikurniakan kepada Nabi Muhammad S.A.W yang bernama Al-Kauthar."

Month 3, Day 19: Ramadhan Nights 29

2005-11-01T05:08:00.000+08:00

Fadhilat Terawikh Malam Keduapuluh sembilan: Allah S.W.T kurniakan kepadanya pahala 1000 kali haji mabrur.

Month 3, Day 18: Ramadhan Nights 28

2005-10-31T05:05:00.000+08:00

Fadhilat Terawikh Malam Keduapuluh lapan: Allah S.W.T kurniakan kepadanya pahala 1000 darjat di akhirat.

Month 3, Day 17: Ramadhan Nights 27

2005-10-30T12:00:00.000+08:00

Fadhilat Terawikh Malam keduapuluh tujuh: Allah S.W.T kurniakan orang yang berterawikh pada malam ini ketangkasan melintas atas titian Siratul Mustaqim seperti kilat menyambar.

Month 3, Day 16: Ramadhan Nights 26

2005-10-29T10:56:00.000+08:00

Fadhilat Terawikh Malam Keduapuluh enam: Allah S.W.T kurniakan kepada orang yang berterawikh pada malam ini seumpama 40 tahun ibadat.

Month 3, Day 15: Ramadhan Nights 25

2005-10-28T04:15:00.000+08:00

*yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwn* *blink* *blink* Mengantukkk....

Yesterday afternoon was spent watching Transporter 2 at GSC Midvalley. Let me tell you, that was the worst way to spend RM9 in one sitting. The story practically sucked right from the beginning! I mean it is an action flick through and through, but I think the director forgot to include a certain important element in the story, what's the word to describe it, a certain..uhmm...uhmm..storyline? Add to it these impossible stunt feats which can only be performed in real life provided that Isaac Newton did not discover gravity, Darwin's theory of evolution is actually true, and that Murphy's Law is an absolute fluke of nature and has no mathematical basis whatsoever. Only then, only when all three of the above prerequisites are met, does a human being be dense enough to drive a car, jumps off a pier, miraculously twists the car in mid air, snags that ticking time bomb thats latched underneath the car without even scratching the exhaust pipe, makes another mid air twist and lands on all four wheels on the other side of a pier. Oh, don't get me started on that jet ski scene.

I had fallen asleep by then, caught gilmpses of this jet ski skimming over the water, drifted to dream land for a second when suddenly it was already on the road chasing a school bus at full speed. Now I admit to sleeping through some classes during high school(okay..okay..who am I kidding here, I slept a lot, it's a stigma that I will have to live with forever), but I don't think I missed that chapter about friction during physics. Or did I?

And why do the bad guys never learn their lesson? Considering that movies have been around for decades, you'd think they would've learnt a thing or two about evil schemes. Never ever gloat to the hero and let him go thinking that he's going to leave and sulk in some corner. Six or seven lackeys will not be enough to take down the hero. Last but most importantly(this I cannot stress any further its importance), bullets will never ever hit the hero. Yes it will graze him a little, blood will spurt like the KLCC fountain, but it will NEVER be fatal. If you ever consider a career as a criminal mastermind, learn these basic rules and abide by it.

Uhh...my eyes are starting to get a little watery, and the eyelids are getting very very heavy. Perhaps I'll try to get some shut eye while its still dark outside. I'll just put down the Fadhilat just in case I forget to continue with today's entry.

Fadhilat Terawikh Malam Keduapuluh lima: Allah S.W.T angkatkan daripada siksa kubur.

Month 3, Day 14: Ramadhan Nights 24

2005-10-27T04:11:00.000+08:00

Fadhilat Terawikh Malam Keduapuluh empat: Allah S.W.T buka peluang 24 doa yang mustajab orang yang berterawikh pada malam ini.

Month 3, Day 13: Ramadhan Nights 23

2005-10-26T06:34:00.000+08:00

Fadhilat Terawikh Malam Keduapuluh tiga: Allah S.W.T binakan kepadanya sebuah bandar di dalam syurga daripada Nur.

Month 3, Day 12: Ramadhan Nights 22

2005-10-25T13:06:00.000+08:00

Fadhilat Terawikh Malam Keduapuluh dua: Datang ia pada hari Qiamat aman daripada semua dukacita dan kerisauan(tidaklah dalam keadaan huru hara di Padang Mahsyar).

Month 3, Day 11: Ramadhan Nights 21

2005-10-24T04:30:00.000+08:00

Fadhilat Terawikh Malam Keduapuluh satu: Allah S.W.T binakan sebuah istana dalam syurga daripada Nur.

Month 3, Day 10: Ramadhan Nights 20

2005-10-23T05:54:00.000+08:00

Fadhilat Terawikh Malam Keduapuluh: Allah S.W.T kurniakan kepadanya pahala sekalian para syahid dan golongan solihin.

Month 3, Day 9: Ramadhan Nights 19

2005-10-22T05:51:00.000+08:00

Fadhilat Terawikh Malam Kesembilanbelas: Allah S.W.T tinggikan darjatnya di dalam syurga Firdaus.

Month 3, Day 8: Ramadhan Nights 18

2005-10-21T05:41:00.000+08:00

Fadhilat Terawikh Malam Kelapanbelas: Seru Malaikat: Hai hamba Allah, sesungguhnya Allah S.W.T telah redha kepada engkau dan ibu bapa engkau(yang masih hidup atau mati).

p/s: nearly missed this one..

Month 3, Day 7: Ramadhan Nights 17

2005-10-20T05:22:00.000+08:00

I definately, absolutely, without a doubt have to go to Jalan TAR today. Yesterday it rained so I was granted a temporary valid procrastination period. Tomorrows a public holiday for Selangor, and the next day is already the weekends.

The mem besar has been reminding me at every opportunity of how I kept 'borrowing' the bos besar's baju melayu(he has lots of them, what harm can come from a little sharing?), and how everyone has agreed on a theme for this year's raya(as a minority, my vote doesn't count) and I should at least go out and scour the many baju melayus for a new one. I don't really mind buying a new baju melayu, I might even consider a new sampin while at it. It's just that I have this problem when it comes to picking out baju melayus.

I can never decide on what color.

I think it's because I never could be bothered with perusing all the different colors and various patterns. Add to it the task of going from store to store, going through all these baju melayus which to me looks all the same, and stopping to ask how much, which I actually consider an absolute chore. So I just go to the first store, look at whats offerred, take one or two samples, lay it on my arms to see if the color matches my skin(what can I say, radiant pink can never suit my skin), haggle the price a bit and finalise the deal with an "aa okla..bolehla...". Go in, get the job done, objective completed, get out, mission accomplished. Fast, efficient, contained and always in control. Military like precision.

Thats how I ended up with a grey baju melayu last year.

So when I actually decided to buy something nice, something that would actually befit the term 'baju raya', I found myself in unchartered territory. What color? What pattern? One with a colar or not? And then there's the mix and match color for a sampin. What goes with what?

So to narrow down the selection, I had eliminated beforehand some colors. Yellow, light blue and pink are an absolute no no as its just too MRSM-esque(spent 2 years wearing these colors every Friday). The same goes with maroon. Black and white are also definitely out as they look too common. I don't like red so that ones out too. Dark colors don't go well with my skin so that limits my choice further to pastel colors.

That leaves me with what, light green, light orange, light purple, and light brown, which are all colors that I have never been comfortable with. This might prove to be difficult after all. Lets see how I fare this afternoon. I have more or less 6 hours to finish this task, what could go wrong?

Yeah right. Ganbatte neh!

Fadhilat Terawikh Malam Ketujuhbelas: Allah S.W.T mengurniakan orang yang berterawikh pahalanya malam ini sebanyak pahala Nabi Nabi.

Month 3, Day 6: Ramadhan Nights 16

2005-10-19T22:14:00.000+08:00

I don't think anyone in this house uses the landline anymore. Seriously.

We've been having some trouble with the internet connection on our Streamyx lately. It started last Saturday when everyone came home for the weekends and was busy booking slots for the computer when Oba chan realised that the DSL light for the modem didn't stop blinking(it blinks whenever its seeking a connection to the remote ISP computer, if connection is established then the light is constantly on). As everyone was so innocent to the ways of the world, thinking that all big corporations maintains a certain credible level of service to all their customers, naturally the blame rested on the many aspects at our end, namely something that might be wrong with the modem or our end of the line.

It turns out that it was something wrong with the Telekom line, but that realisation came a bit late as I had already bought a new replacement modem(thats RM190 I'm not gonna see again..) and had already unplugged the landline telephone line. Everyone was giving inputs as to the symptoms(internet connectivity is a major issue in this household) so I couldn't just not do anything. So I just did what any normal person would do under the same circumstances, I unplugged the telephone and devote the line totally to the internet connection.That was on Saturday, today is already Wednesday.

Oh, perhaps I forgot to mention that I did not reconnect the telephone.

No one, absolutely no one had bothered to reconnect the telephone. The telephone was in full view in front of the tele downstairs, and no one could be bothered that the line was just dangling there.

Or maybe its because the bos besar had 'locked' the phone from dialing out to a mobile number after that infamous "Ni sapa telefon kawan die sampai 700 ringgit nih?? Ingat duit tumbuh kat pokok ke?" incident that left everyone with a telephone that could only dial out to a landline. So why bother with a telephone that can only dial local landline numbers when everyone has their own handphones?

The age of mobile connectivity ladies and gentleman.

mat motor atas RG Sport: hi cik adek..boleh berkenalan?
minah kat bus stand tengah tunggu bas: boleh apa salahnya..(boleh tahan gak mamat nih..rayban shade dier sungguh la macho..)
mat motor atas RG Sport: mintak nombor telefon boleh?
minah kat bus stand tengah tunggu bas: alaa..awak la kasi saya no fon awak..(inject tone manja2 sikit)
mat motor atas RG Sport: (wahh..respond baik nih..dah 'saya awak saya awak' dah..) err..036189..
minah kat bus stand tengah tunggu bas: no handphone takde ker?(asal mana mamat nih.. handphone pon takder...)
mat motor atas RG Sport: err...takde ler
minah kat bus stand tengah tunggu bas: Loserrrrrrr(accentuating the 'R's and holding out the 'L' gesture using the hand for added cool effect)

So yeah, one day landlines will be totally obsolete.

p/s: In case you're wondering if I have this judgemental view towards mat motors, honestly speaking I don't. I used to own an RG Sport(a looooong time ago..) and this was a very common pickup line used by my friends back then. And surprisingly it does work, provided its used in tandem with the ray ban shades. What? No ray bans? *geleng kepala* Sorry la..mintak mak kamu tolong carikkan candidate la jawabnyer...tak dapek pakcik nak tolong...

Fadhilat Terawikh Malam Keenambelas: Allah S.W.T tuliskan baginya terlepas daripada neraka dan dimasukkan ke dalam syurga.

Month 3, Day 5: Ramadhan Nights 15

2005-10-18T23:26:00.000+08:00

Fadhilat Terawikh Malam Kelimabelas: Semua Malaikat yang menanggung 'Arasy, Kursi, berselawat dan mendoakanya supaya Allah S.W.T mengampunkanya.

Month 3, Day 3: Ramadhan Nights 14

2005-10-17T06:15:00.000+08:00

Fadhilat Terawikh Malam Keempatbelas: Datang Malaikat menyaksikan ia bersembahyang Terawikh, serta Allah S.W.T tiada menyesatkannya pada hari Qiamat.

Month 3, Day 2: Ramadhan Nights 13

2005-10-16T05:10:00.000+08:00

Fadhilat Terawikh Malam Ketigabelas: Datang ia pada hari kiamat dalam aman sentosa daripada seiap kejahatan dan keburukan.

Month 3, Day 1: Ramadhan Nights 12

2005-10-15T05:01:00.000+08:00

Fadhilat Terawikh Malam Keduabelas: Datang ia pada hari Qiamat dengan muka yang bercahaya(cahaya ibadahnya).

Month 3: Ramadhan Nights 11

2005-10-14T16:20:00.000+08:00

Gonna go break fast with my office mate at Saloma Bistro today. According to an acquantance of mine, they have this absolutely delicious Ramadhan break fast buffet promotion going on. You have a choice between an indoor or an outdoor dinner, both accompanied by these traditional folk performers. Sounds like a good place to hang out if not for the exorbitant price tag that comes with it.

But we're all working, and splurging might just be a healthy past time once in a while. So let's play a little make belief today. That everythings A-okay, and that absolutely everything is where it should be and time is standing still, if only for just this one day.

After all, this blog has aged exactly 3 months now. That itself is already a cause for celebration. And as the saying goes, happiness is what you make of it, and yes, money CAN buy happiness, even if for a brief moment.

My mind keeps telling me to hold on
And it says I need to be a real man
I'm still wondering if I'll ever find my way
That leads me to your light, and to your grace

So where have all my lights gone?
For I need to find a way out of here
In my every breath I am chanting your name
With my every breath I'm hoping
I can find the way to save my soul

Don't worry dear, I'll definately be home for terawikh.

Fadhilat Terawikh Malam Kesebelas: Keluar ia daripada dunia(mati) bersih seperti ia baru sahaja dilahirkan.

Month 2, Day 29: Ramadhan Nights 10

2005-10-13T23:33:00.000+08:00

Nothing to write. I have some office politic stories which I think might make an interesting piece, but alas, it is Ramadhan.

Oh well, what the heck, just a little maybe....

Maybe this no good lazy bum will actually start finishing all his work for a change, instead of 'lateral delegating' it to colleagues.

Maybe this baldy might actually come to realise the fact that sucking up to management doesn't do jack when you have a bad rapport with your fellow colleagues.

Maybe this "I am so cool cos I got that job offer as a system admin in Subang with a 4k monthly pay, but I turned it down cos it was too far to commute from home" might actually get his head out of the sand for once and realise that nobody believes that baloney.

Maybe this 'man' might actually entertain the notion of ironing his own work shirt instead of pretending that he is still sweet sixteen and that mommy ironing his shirt is an acceptable behaviour of normal working adults. Oh, and nail biting just oozes with leadership charisma and untap potential.

And maybe, just maybe, this sorry excuse of a technician might just learn that it is not a position of power or an elevated status to be in Tier-2, it does not come with a 'free to come at whatever time you want' card, that delegation is actually a downward process instead of lateral, and that other people have their own work to do too and assistance is given out of kindness, not obedience.

And kindness and tolerance does wear thin.

And maybe, just maybe...(squints really really really hard) miracles do happen. That'd be really nice wouldn't it?

Fadhilat Terawikh Malam Kesepuluh: Allah S.W.T mengurniakan kepadanya kebaikan di dunia dan di akhirat.

Month 2, Day 28: Ramadhan Nights 9

2005-10-12T05:11:00.000+08:00

Last night's moreh was nasi ayam, which was actually a good change from the ever so common karipaps and bee hoon gorengs, though the drink was still the same old ice cold sirap and hot tea(tak sah makan-makan at a surau without these drinks). I usually come down for the food straight after 8 rakaats, which means I walk down the surau steps amidst a wave of kids racing one another to get to the food, leaping over two or three steps at a time and chatting away about whatever that occupies their young innocent minds(oh..I don't know, is ultraman and kamen rider black still the rage nowadays?).

No, I didn't skip any steps. Dah besar panjang buat cara dah besar panjang. Macho gak sikit.

I had arrived late for Isya' prayers so I had to join the jemaah at one of the back safs, which is usually where all the kids pray. I don't particularly enjoy the back lines because kids tend to leave the saf whenever they want(maybe lack of bowel control or something, what can I say, they're still kids) which means that they leave a gap in the line, which is not good. Add to it their incessant fidgeting, which kinda gets to me sometimes.

The kid on my right was no different. He was fidgeting all the time, constantly swaying left to right like this human pendulum, making these sudden movements during rukuk and sujud as if his life depended on these sudden bursts of speed, and kept picking his nose every minute or so(I have never seen a creature that could produce such a consistent amount of booger, maybe Discovery is a little late on documenting the human evolution). Oh yeah, not to mention his loud chant at the end of every Al-Fatihah.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!"

Kids. Who can blame them.

But what differentiated this little guy from the others was the fact that he actually had memorized all the surahs the Imam was reciting, and that actually caught me off guard! It's actually a common practice for kids at his age(I assume he was around 5 or 6, definately pre-primary school age) to memorize the common Al-Fatihah or Tahyatul Awal and Akhir because its an integral part of the solat, but to actually memorize Surah Al-Kafirun? This kid was actually whispering audibly all the surahs beneath his breath! And the fact that once in awhile he read ahead of the Imam meant he knew what he was reciting!

Hats off to you little guy, you have my utmost respect. Even if you had sneezed on my hand that one time during sujud, I'll make an exception. You're just a kid after all.

Fadhilat Terawikh Malam Kesembilan: Allah S.W.T kurniakan pahala dan dinaikkan mutu ibadat hambanya seperti Nabi Muhammad S.A.W.

Month 2, Day 27: Ramadhan Nights 8

2005-10-11T05:30:00.000+08:00

So lazy to write anything today.

Bile tah nak overcome this perpetual state of laziness. Semua benda lazy. Haihhh...

I think I'll turn on the office lights early today and get some work done early instead.

Fadhilat Terawikh Malam Kelapan: Allah S.W.T mengurniakan pahala orang sembahyang terawikh sepertimana yang telah dikurniakan oleh Nabi Allah Ibrahim 'Alaihissalam.

Month 2, Day 26: Ramadhan Nights 7

2005-10-10T05:05:00.000+08:00

Okay, I mengelat a little, not much though, just a little.

The entries for nights 5 and 6 were put in this morning, not on the day itself. What can I say, I'm only human, this isn't a newspaper, and I don't get paid writing in here(though it would motivate me a little). So I am susceptible to various human shortcomings, namely being busy with other stuff, contending with 4 sisters who bicker with each other over the one computer which has internet access(theres a post-it booking system employed which is considered absolute law, unless higher management steps in with the ever so totalitarian "Kasi Daddy pakai internet sekejap"), and other non existent but still believable excuses. But let me just be brutally honest, I was just plain lazy. Try waking up at 3 in the morning everyday for work, you'd really start to appreciate your weekends more, trust me. So yeah, I was busy enjoying my weekend, lazing around the house and what not, sue me.

Yesterday was sending everyone to their respective campus day. Dropped Tebu chan at the Greenwood bus station for her to catch the express bus to Kuantan, sent Oba chan to her UIA campus, then finally drove Nanao chan to Shah Alam. Originally Nanao chan wanted to go back after break fast, but after some coaxing(whos gonna send her at that time anyway? me? pakcik dah tua*cough cough*, pukul 10 dah terkebil kebil dah) and some bribering, she finally gave in.

After sending everyone off and breaking fast, I started the journey back home. Didn't want to miss terawikh so I drove as fast as I could along the Federal Highway. Not that I actually thought of terawikh jemaah at the surau(that's actually putting my hopes too high) but just so that I could at least perform terawikh at home and get a good nights sleep. Never tried terawikh alone before, but what hell, I have that terawikh guide and I'm in the mood for some changes.

Arrived home, parked the car, coverred it with the 'kelambu'(mem besar's term, not mine), fumbled around in my pocket for my house keys and realised that I had forgotten them....

Aiyaaa...lepak luar rumah tunggu everyone balik terawikh la camni.

So all in all, my weekend was busy, Saturday being a full time gardener(mem besar has this sudden obsession with gardening), Sunday being a full time driver, and last night busying myself coming up with these incoherent mumbling messages cause I locked myself out.

Yeah I know, karma, har har har very the so funny. Hey, at least I got past the front gates! :P

We're all just kids at heart aren't we? Firewalls and all other considered, deep down inside the innocent kid in us just wants to play around, kid each other kids and feel good about themselves. The kid inside just wants to be happy.

When you think of it that way, it's really not that hard letting go isn't it?

Today's entry was brought to you by the letter 'N' and the number '1'.

Fadhilat Terawikh Malam Ketujuh: Seolah-olah ia dapat bertemu dengan Nabi Musa serta menolong Nabi Alaihissalam menentang musuh ketatnya Fir'aun dan Hamman.

Month 2, Day 25: Ramadhan Nights 6

2005-10-09T04:58:00.000+08:00

Fadhilat Terawikh Malam Keenam: Allah S.W.T kurniakan pahala kepadanya pahala Malaikat-malaikat yang tawaf di Baitul Ma'mur(70 ribu malaikat sekali tawaf), serta setiap batu batu dan tanah-tanah mendoakan supaya Allah mengampunkan dosa-dosa orang yang mengerjakan sembahyang terawikh pada malam ini.

Month 2, Day 24: Ramadhan Nights 5

2005-10-08T04:54:00.000+08:00

Fadhilat Terawikh Malam Kelima: Allah S.W.T kurniakan baginya pahala seumpama orang sembahyang di Masjidilharam, Masjid Madinah dan Masjidil Aqsa.

Month 2, Day 23: Ramadhan Nights 4

2005-10-07T04:43:00.000+08:00

Yesterday went to the Pasar Ramadhan near the Balai Polis, you know the one near the Petronas station, along the road beside the Government Clinic.

Tebu chan came home from Kuantan yesterday and called around half past five, asking me to pick her up at Jalan Gombak. It was highly congested at that time and I was absolutely bewildered as to why it was so jam packed. It didn't occur to me until we were on the way back when it suddenly dawned, it was the evening rush hour. I finish work at quarter past one remember, who can blame me if I keep forgetting all these things?(Okay I'm just bragging here, I know)

So we singgah(whats the English word for 'singgah'?) at the Pasar Ramadhan on the way back.

It was like KLCC on sale! Umat ramai tak ingat! Walking around looking at what to buy was already a chore itself, and that did not include the decision making process of actually buying the food that we actually wanted. Add to the fact that Tebu chan absolutely insisted we buy 'ais krim goreng' for berbuka, we had to walk around looking for these for like half an hour before she conceded and opted for some 'kuih keria'. If I were to describe the experience, it's like the 'Brown Effect' where atoms are constantly on the move in independant direction, each one bumping into each other.

Bump..oppss sorry..bump..bump.

I bought popiah and air jagung(mem besar already made berbuka preparations after all so dinner was already set), and Tebu chan only bought kuih keria after half an hour going from one end of the Pasar Ramadhan to the other.

I bet when we go shopping for kain and baju kurungs at Jalan Tunku Abdul Rahman(lets face it, it will be Aidilfitri soon), it'll be like Brown effect with stimulated injected energy. Atoms on steroids.

Fadhilat Terawikh Malam Keempat: Memperolehi pahala sebagaimana orang orang yang membaca kitab Taurat, Zabur, Injil dan Al-Quran.

Month 2, Day 22: Ramadhan Nights 3

2005-10-06T16:43:00.000+08:00

Uhh..takde idea nak tulis apa.

It's now another 15 minutes to 5 in the evening, another 2 hours to go until break fast. Still can't decide what to have for dinner tonight. Maybe I'll have ayam percik. Maybe I'll have nasi dagang. Maybe I'll buy murtabak or something. And then maybe those samosa curry puffs. Uuuuuuu...samosa curry puffs!! Maybe I'll buy like 3-4 ringgit worth of it and bring some to the office tomorrow, just so I can munch on something while waiting for Imsak.

What to get for break fast laaaaa...? Haihhh...Choices...choices.

Most probably get some popiah, yeah popiah sounds good. Definately some popiah!

And get nasi dagang with solok lada and ayam percik. Nyummm..nyumm. And then air jagung! Whoaaaahh..leleh dah air liur.

Fadhilat Terawikh Malam Ketiga: Berseru Malaikat di bawah 'Arasy' supaya kami meneruskan sembahyang terawikh terus menerus semoga Allah S.W.T mengampunkan dosanya.

Month 2, Day 21: Ramadhan Nights 2

2005-10-05T23:52:00.000+08:00

I think I made a mistake here.

In the previous post, I had ended it with the first night's terawikh fadhilat, instead of posting the fadhilat for the whole month. Now, since I've already started it, sayang la plak nak abandon the practice, even if I had only started. It's one thing to write whenever you want to write(even if you end up making entries everyday), but its one thing to 'have' to make entries everyday.

Oh well, perhaps it could instill some discpline in me, perhaps it could be my good deed for this month, perhaps someone else will benefit from it. And I do have plenty of time in the wee hours of the morning between four and six.

So here you go then,

Fadhilat Terawikh Malam Kedua: Diampunkan dosa dosa orang mukmin yang sembahyang terawikh serta kedua ibu bapanya(sekiranya mereka orang beriman)

p/s: I don't think I can come up with thirty different titles for the thirty nights of Ramadhan, so I'll just come up with a generic title.

Month 2, Day 20: Daylight Saving Time

2005-10-04T15:26:00.000+08:00

You know, when I go hang out with friends at night for yam cha or something, they always rib me about my odd working hours. Who on Earth goes to work at five in the morning? Usually it revolves around this joke from 'Pi Mai Pi Mai Tang Tu' where one of the cast(I think its Mat Deris) who used to 'kerja malam' for a living. If you don't know what this occupation is, suffice to say that nowadays everything has running pipes straight to the treatment ponds, so no one does this anymore. All is good though, it's just good natured ribbing between friends.

Tomorrow I'll be starting at four instead of the 'normal' five in the morning. Yeah, I know, it sounds crazy even to me.

The reason for this sudden change is because of the Daylight Saving Time. Don't ask me what it means, other than NZ adjusts their clock one hour early. So yeah, Malaysia, oppss sorry, The United States of Me also resets its clock one hour early. Work starts at four and ends at quarter past one now.

What? Lunch? Nah, I'll pass. I'll just go straight home and have lunch watching the Bold and Beautiful on StarWorld. I bet Forrester should've known by now that the son his wife is carrying is actually his bestfriend's which was actually an accident because he had amnesia and went missing that time for one whole year. It's complicated.

Nah, I'm just messing. No, don't use the 'S' word.

Tomorrows the start of Ramadhan Al-Mubarak and we muslim and muslimah all start fasting for one month. So to you all I wish 'Selamat Berpuasa'.

Oh, before I forget,

Fadhilat Terawikh Malam Pertama: Keluar dosa orang orang Mukmin sepertimana ia baru dilahirkan, mendapat keampunan dari Allah S.W.T.

Month 2, Day 19: Nak Balikkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk!!!!

2005-10-03T11:56:00.000+08:00

Two more days to the fasting month of Ramadhan.

I went down just now for smokes and drinks. Asked the indon kakak for Teh Ais Limau. She just looked at me with this weird look and kept staring at me like I was playing with her or something.

Gosh! I asked for Teh Ais Limau instead of Teh O Ais Limau.

Bet you didn't notice it the first time did you.

And so I sat down at the KUB lobby, left hand holding this icy cup of Teh O Ais Limau, right hand struggling to flick the lighter. Uh?? How come the buts on fire?

Gosh! I went and light the other end of the cigarette. Now the cigarette but is up in flames. Thats what, 60 cents up in flames?

How ironic, what about the other 19 cigs left in the pack, are they put to good use?

Elevators are always awkward. You push the desired floor and just stand there with your hands in your pocket, staring straight ahead at nothing, trying to avoid eye contact. Its more awkward when there's only the two of you and the elevator has reflecting glasses on each side. And what's that song they're playing on the speaker box anyway?

Hey, this red tie looks good on me.

A few weeks ago they gave out this stringy thingies where you can latch your access card onto your belt/pant pockets/breast pocket(or wherever that makes you look cool). It works like a yoyo, at one end you latch it onto your belt, the other end your access card. So when you flash your card at the reader, you just let go of the card and it goes 'whooooshhh' back to your belt.

I wonder who came up with this invention. No I don't use it, the bos besar has one of those, so I am rebelling against authority in my own way. Say yes to lan-yards!

By the way, if everyone is using it, why conform? Rock on yohhhhh!!!

I wish they'd just put in a revolving door instead of this security door that doesn't latch properly. When it doesn't latch properly, it lets out this annoying beeping sound.

Teeeeet...teeeeeet.....teeeeet.....teeeeeet........!

Guess what, my workstation is nearest to the door. Very funneeeeeeeeee!

Quarter past two, time to go home.

Yeah I finished my work already. What? You thought I didn't have enough common sense to leave work lying around? One day at a time remember. Today's work is finished, made sure of it.

Tomorrows another day.

Month 2, Day 15: You're It!

2005-09-29T16:45:00.000+08:00

Okay, dila tagged me. I don't know what that means, though I assume it's like those 'sep!' thingies kids play. I'm new to blogging, not really familiar with the jargons.

So here goes...

Seven things you plan to do before you die:
(okay..this is harder than it looks..I could put all kinds of crap here..but I'd just be kidding myself)
1. To become a better muslim(never ending journey, insya'Allah)
2. To be a useful person to society, a responsible son and a dependable brother(insya'Allah)
3. To finish whatever that needs finishing.
4. - (I'll just leave these spaces empty for now, not really keen on the wants at the moment)
5. -
6. -
7. -

Seven things I could do:
1. I could make 48 entries within two months. That's on average every two days!
2. I could cook up a mean spaghetti. (Don't mess with the Don!)
3. I could tapau any Malaysian built car(except Putras and GTIs) at the traffic light, hands down.
4. I could sit in one spot and do nothing for hours(its my superhuman ability)
5. I could listen to what people talk, and not remember a single word(hearing impaired, superhumans pon ada weaknesses jugak)
6. I could sit in one spot for hours, remain stationary and listen to what people say without even remembering anything(combo hikmat loceng emas terulung peringkat 27 petala langit)
7. I could sit in one spot for hours, remain stationary and listen to what a person says and still go home wondering about more questions(kryptonite)

Seven celebrity crushes(I'm 26, no more crushes, fancy maybe):
1. Shakira(totally tsssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss!)
2. Shakira(Sorry, just had to reiterate the fact that she is a total sizzle)
3. Claire Danes(Juliet..nuff said)
4. Renee Zelweger(post 'you had me at hello', pre bridget jones diary)
5. Angelina Jolie(you are a goddess!)
6. Mariah Car...sorry silap type..Elisha Cuthbert of 24
7. I forgot her name, she's a local Malaysian singer, I'll edit it later once I remember

Seven often repeated words:
1. "A refund has been organized on your behalf for the auto renewal.."
2. "Aaa..yer..nanti Abaran antar gi LRT station..."
3. "Aaa..yer..nanti Abaran amik kat LRT station..."
4. "Apa lagi citer ayam itik nak pikir nih...cepat!!!!!!!"
5. "uhhhmmm..uhhhhmmm.."
6. "CEPAT!!!!!!!"
7. "okiedook" (how come I dont hear this anymore?)

Seven physical traits I look for in the opposite sex :
("uhmm..uhmm..apa kite nak ekk..apa ekk..eh malula nak tulis cini...apa cebenarnya ek..eh malulaaaaaaaaaa..kite tutup mata and type je la ekk..one..two..three..." )

1. ntah
2. ntah
3. ntah
4. ntah
5. ntah
6. ntah
7. A nice smile.
(for the above question, seriously I don't know, I could only find one)

Seven tags go to:
(ni lagilaaa susah...how many people actually read my rants, its a blog not a newspaper)
1. The heart wants what the heart wants(go make use of that space la! haih..)

Finally, since I'm writing this entry, I'd also like to take this opportunity to extend my condolences to a friend of a friend of mine whose father recently passed away. I don't personally know this guy or his father, but that shouldn't stop any of us from reading Al-Fatihah for a fellow muslim right? Al-Fatihah.

Month 2, Day 13: The Commute

2005-09-28T07:54:00.000+08:00

Usual travelling time to work everyday is 11 minutes, provided I run through all the red lights, squeeze myself in between the east coast express busses for any available road space, constantly shifting gear from 3 to 4(yes its an auto, but the L2 has longer gear ratio in low gear, hence higher torque output), and swerving all over the road avoiding potholes, which some of the time I miss and the car goes boing! Basically, driving like a mad man.

Sometimes its because I wake up late, rush everything just to get to work. Most of the time I just dilly dally. Let's face it, waking up at 4 in the morning takes a lot of will power(a lot!) . First there's the daily battle of will, and then the adjusting to the shower water temperature. It's true there's a water heater, but taking a shower at 4 I tell you...brrrr...sejuk gilerrrrr!!!!

In case you still don't get it, 'brrrr...' is the opposite of 'tssss...'.

But a downside to this rather expeditious daily commute is quite apparent once in awhile. Yes I can get from Gombak to Yap Kwan Seng in 11 minutes(can anyone claim the same?), but it puts a lot of strain on the engine. I can actually hear the engine groan once in awhile, the RPM dances at the upper 4k figure, the turbine lag is very apparent(its needs more time to warm up) and the timer would take more than 3 minutes to turn off the engine. That's 3 minutes worth of fuel wasted in idle.

This morning's commute took a whole 15 minutes. I did not run any red lights, tried to stay in one lane instead of swerving all over the place, drove patiently behind those express busses, and let the car pickup take its course instead of shifting it down to get a higher rev. Long term wise, I think this is better, saves more fuel(both petrol and engine oil), doesn't strain the engine so much and I think I arrive at work this morning feeling a little calmer than usual. I could get used to this.

Okay laaaaaa, I admit I ran that ONE traffic light at Jalan Pahang. It was red, I was the only car on the road and I was waiting patiently for it to turn green, albeit tapping my fingers lightly on the steering wheel. It was so tempting to press the throttle! I think I would've managed to control myself, if not for this old china man who with full bravado ran that red light at 5km/h on his old Raleigh bicycle going 'kruuueeeekkk krueeekkk krueekkkkk...".

Gila cool la uncle nih!

So yeah, I floored the throttle. Once in awhile you just gotta give in.

Month 2, Day 11: Return to Innocence

2005-09-26T07:21:00.000+08:00

Aaaaaaahh....chooooooo! *sniff..sniff*

Lets just call it what it is instead of playing make belief. I am officially sick today.

I spent the whole weekend fighting a sore throat, a runny nose and a dizzying headache. The headache wasn't that bad, but the sore throat kept getting worse. I know, the incessant smoking didn't help things either, but what can I do? It's an addiction. Having said that, I do know its bad for my health, but as the saying goes, believing in something is one thing, practising it is actually another. We could debate this issue all day long, but lets just leave it at that.

So today I'm gonna spend the rest of the day coughing and sneezing at work. Yes, I am at work. Why didn't I take medical leave for one day? Simple. It's because I've never taken one and am trying my best not to.

When I was growing up, believe it or not I never skipped a day of school, both morning school and the afternoon quran recital classes. I rarely got sick, the bos besar and mem besar didn't believe in skipping school for vacations, dentist appointments was always scheduled on Saturdays, and in the event that I had some official business to attend to(ie. making my passport or something), I will have to wear my school uniform from morning in case we finished early and the bos besar could drop me off at school. And he always made sure I had a note confirming as to why I was absent. That was how things worked in my household when I was growing up. Bos besar and mem besar rarely missed work, we kids never missed school. We were like drones in a bee hive, living by this unsaid rule of everyday conduct.

I miss that organized life.

So yes, it's a return to innocence.

"Aaaaaeeoooaaaahhh..aeaaa..oh..ahhh..oh ahhhhhaaaahaeeeyaaaa...ho..aeah...aeah"

Ahhh..chooo! *sniff sniff*

It's the song by Enigma la. I may be sick *cough cough* but I'm not delirious.

p/s: feels good to lose once in awhile doesnt it? especially when you suddenly realise you were winning all along.

Month 2, Day 7: The Popsicle is Pinker On The Other Side

2005-09-22T17:49:00.000+08:00

Slept late last night, around 12 midnight I think. A friend had some misgivings about her compass direction and so I gave her some time on the couch. Its pointing South? Hogwash! Seems to be pointing North just fine, but the needle does look a little twitchy. No worries, even if it turns 180 degrees in the opposite direction, I think I'll make an exception for one crooked compass. Though I might have to come up with a contingency plan, just to be on the safe side. Another wolf is still a threat, even if its a sheep in wolf clothing. And who are we kidding here, you are Uji Rashid are you not.

Bro, I think I'm bored with Lembah Kelang already, can you spare a bunk for me one of these weekends? A brief getaway is beginning to sound like a good idea lately. Work's getting pretty dull, everyday is the same repetitive schedule, wake up at 4, rush to work, run through all the red lights, park the car and spend 8 and a half hours a day slaving away in front of this screen. Not to mention that fast food dinners are starting to get to me already. A change in the air might actually be good. A slower pace once in awhile. What you say Bro? Maybe we can go fishing too.

Music. Dewa is really pleasant to the ears. I might not entertain the notion of answering to Mimpi Yang Sempurna, but Dua Sejoli sounds mighty enticing(ooooookay..that was just ghey).

Change is constant. The statement itself sounds ironic, but we see it every single day. People change, some for the better, some for the worse. Growth itself is a good thing. You said that you've changed? I totally agree.

Believe me, you've changed a lot. I noticed.

But some things still remain the same too.

Month 2, Day 3: They Went To Bali and All I Got Was This T-Shirt

2005-09-18T20:29:00.000+08:00

The T-shirts too small, can I exchange it for the Tika instead? Nah, I'm just messing wit ya. But still, the title is kinda catchy don't you think.

A guy with a blog, hmm. Sounds corny/ghey doesn't it? Ahhh, I can actually hear my wolf side clawing its way out to prove otherwise. Down boy, let me put it in perspective first before we go prancing about town for prey.

The way I see it, its mainly about two things. First, as a compass, and second as a creative expression.

Compass in the sense that it provides a direction for my journey. There's still a long way to go, much things to do, and many obstacles to overcome. It may not be apparent to everyone, but it is a reality that I face everyday. There are wants and there are needs, and they occasionally get mixed up with each other. There are always forks in the road that tempt me to forget where my destination is. This blog just reminds me that I have somewhere to be, someone I want to be, and something that I want to amount to. As Breaking Benjamin aptly puts it,

Take a photograph,
It'll be the last,
Not a dollar or a crowd could ever keep me here.

Creative expression as in an outlet for things that I don't say in words. Perhaps I have neither the articulacy nor the ability to express certain things verbally so everything gets stuck up there without an outlet. Since I have found that to a certain extent I do enjoy writing, I might as well use this white blank space on the internet to pen down my thoughts. Van Gogh painted, Shakespeare wrote, and Da Vinci invented. They may have been perceived as being weird during their time, but in time they became known as only eccentrics, the idiosyncrasies of a brilliant mind. By no means I consider myself in the same league as the greats, but I do the best I can. I write the best I can.

A ship sails in both calm and stormy weather. It needs a sail to harness the wind during the calm, an anchor to weather the storm, and a compass to remain true. This is my sail, my anchor and my compass.

Month 2, Day 1: Friday is Half Day!

2005-09-16T09:16:00.000+08:00

Today, I am not earning my pay. Today, I am misusing company property for personal use. Today, I am getting paid for perusing the internet for second hand cars, drooling over exotic sports cars that I currently can't afford, reading what other people blog on the internet, listening to KISZ online radio broadcast, going through lowyat.net garage sale for anything of interest(not that I ever bought anything) and having these sausage rolls for breakfast.

Work? Finished already. Everything was cleared at more or less 8 o'clock this morning.

What am I doing right now? I'm pretending to be working. Gotta keep up appearances you know.

So here I am, pretending to be engrossed with non existent work, once in a while making sudden glances to the corparate machine as if there's actually something there that needs my attention(all the tools are open), yellow sticky notes stuck to the monitor giving that 'busy' look(its all been resolved, nothing is pending) and all these faxes and contact sheets strewn all over the desk to add a little ordered chaos feel. Sometimes Jeremy walks by, so I have to up a notch the charade by feigning a little concentration, not much though, strained eye brows, and everything's good.

Oops, corporate machine just went into screensaver mode, hold on a while I nudge the mouse a little. There ya go, all good.

Where was I just now? Ah yes, slacking off at work.

It's not my fault really. I've been spending the whole of last week slaving over these pending cases and going through all the escalation points. It's not really fun work, kinda tedious and repetitive, but how many of us actually enjoy the everyday work we do? This is actually my reward for one week's worth of hard toil. Hmm, 'toiling' makes it sound like I've been to the rice paddy fields or something. Perhaps a more appropriate word would be 'labor'. Hmm, not really, that's still too strong. Maybe 'slog', yeah that sounds more accurate. One week's worth of slogging.

What's the time now? Damn, still at 10. I've had this window opened for like 2 hours already, alternating between other websites and returning to this one for that 'busy' look.

I just realized that they blocked all webmails and certain websites. Yesterday there was a commotion when one of the guys found out that he could not log into his Friendster account. There was actually a trail of emails regarding this issue, some emotional outbursts, and empty promises to take this up with management, but no action so far. I tried logging into my Yahoo mail and it was still working yesterday. Hahahah, padan muka korang! Tu la, tengah buat tech support sambil surf Friendster awek, bile Jeremy lalu tanak kaver.

Today they caught up with me, and my workstation has also been blocked. Basket!

Oh well, it's not like I logon my Friendster account that frequent. Last time I logon was what, a week ago or so. As for webmails, I can still read them on the corporate machine, it's VPN to the client's LAN in Sydney, and there's no restriction there. You missed me and Jordan you oppressive slave drivers! We win!

What am I rambling about here, its not like I have the time to go through my webmails at work. Today is actually an exception. It's just weird, no support chat, no serious cases to be actioned. All I did was pass the buck to other departments.

What?!!! Only 28 minutes past 10? @#$%$#%$%^!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I think I'll go have lunch with Ras for awhile. A drink or two might freshen me up a little. Be right back.

Why does everyone think that I am an authority on cars? Sure I drive a modified L2, but that doesn't mean I know everything about cars. Ras was asking me about the engine output of the Alfa Romeo Spider GT during lunch. Uhh? Hello? Do I look like I've ridden in one before? Hondas, Miras, Toyotas and other Japanese makes perhaps I can relate a little, but a Spider GT?

And now Joseph is actually reminding me to go teman him test drive a Fiat Bravo GT tomorrow. Damn, totally forgot. He saw an ad in the EOA website of a Bravo GT that had a complete Touring bodykit, was fiery red in color, had 17 inch rims wrapped in Ventus semi slick tyres(seriously! Ventus semi slick tyres!) and was going for about 30k. It actually looked like the new VW Golf GTI, albeit it being a little round at the edges whereas the Golf has this more streamlined body.

What do I know about continental cars, seriously.

New Tamil word of the day, courtesy of Geetha and Usha, my Tamil language teachers.

aama - yes
Is usually confused with amma which actually means 'mother' in Tamil. Pronouncing aama means yes. Pronouncing amma gets you mother.

New Cantonese word, courtesy of Cantonese teacher Joseph. GK's on leave today.

fong fei kei or FFK - to become a pilot, to fly like an aeroplane, to become an aeroplane
Means to promise to meet at a certain time and date, but then cancels. No need to remind me ler, I remembered already.

Another 15 minutes and it will be quarter past 1. Then I can logout, go for my Friday prayers with Jimbo Anderson and start off my weekend.

Bile la nak 1.15 nih.

Month 2: Independence Day

2005-09-15T15:27:00.000+08:00

Its just rantings.

Went to sleep early last night, was totally exhausted after more than 10 hours spent at the office. A colleague of mine suddenly had this urge to educate everyone on client product knowledge and arrange classes after I had finish my shift. It was informative to a certain extent, but nothing everyone didn't already know. But still, gotta applaud his enthusiasm, even if the prawn behind the mee goreng was transparently apparent. Sorry, I know for a fact that the position you're seeking will be filled by someone else.

Around midnight, was woken up from my slumber by this shrieking car alarm. It went on and on like forever! I was about to go and have a look when Kakteh came into my room and told me that she couldn't turn off the alarm of her car. Astaga! Bunyi alarm kereta tuh dari rumah kite ke?!! Ran upstairs and found a bunch of her friends milling around the car, looking at the car headlights blinking like mad but not knowing what to do. Amidst the noise I asked her what had happened, she didn't know, but her friends were quick to point out the fact that there was something wrong with the alarm. Really? I thought it was the air conditioner that was making all those noises. Armed with this newly acquired knowledge and the realization that if the bos besar woke up he'd be extremely cross, I did the best thing I could think of at that time, pulled out the battery cable connector and it suddenly went silent.

After that I couldn't go back to sleep. The fact that I knew I had to be awake in another 4 hours didn't help things either. So I turned on the television, flicked from one channel to another and settled on this Diari Akademi Fantasia on channel 15. Do people really watch these things? I was curious as to what the attraction was, so I watched these people learn how to sing, pronounce the Do Re Mis and write these extremely large cards to their family members. I fell asleep when the third contestant was describing why she made that flower on the card so big.

Woke up at half past 4 and went through the daily battle of will. To EL or not to EL? So far I've won the battle straight with no losses, though there was this one morning when it was raining and the frogs were going "kruuuaaaakk..kruuuaaakkk". I nearly gave in that morning. If you ever have trouble waking up at 6 in the morning, imagine waking up at 4.

Work was boring today, and I was extremely sleepy. Had cleared everything on my desk by 8.30 in the morning and had nothing else to do for the rest of the day. Boring. Thought of making up an excuse to leave early for an emergency, but thought otherwise. Kang jadi betul betul kang baru padan muka.

So here I am at home, feeling a little hungry but too lazy to go out and buy something.

Happy two month independence day! I think I'll do something crazy today. I think I'll go get a hair cut.

Month 1, Day 28: Ownage

2005-09-13T07:13:00.000+08:00

When you purchase a software, you do not 'own' the software, you only purchase the license to use the software. Why is it so hard to comprehend this concept?

It's a common misconception that when you pay for something, you own the 'rights' to this product. True, when you purchase it you expect it to be yours, but this only applies to tangible things, like buying kambings at the local market or vegetables at the weekend pasar tani(I was just itching to type the word 'kambing', I don't know why). Buy something that you can touch, then its yours. But something that you can't grasp in your hand, how do you claim ownership?

Let's try this concept of tangible and intangible items.

Buy a CD for 49.99 ringgit(whats the price nowadays? its been so long since I have been legit), then the CD is yours. Dangle it around your neck, paint the surface and turn it into a novelty item, nobody cares. You can touch it, so its tangible. But the content within, now that's the recording company's property. Don't believe me? Try claiming the song 'Helena' on the CD you purchased from Speedy as yours, see if anyone will believe you. The song is by Chemical Romance, is owned by the recording company, even the imprint drawing on the CD is property of some artist. So what is actually yours? It's that 50 cents worth of CD you're holding.

So you paid 49.49 ringgit more than its worth?

Not really. You paid for the 'service'. You're actually paying for the exhilarating feeling, the peaceful calmness, the drive of passion, the sense of belonging, the motivation to overcome obstacles, the escapism. How many times have you listened to a song and it actually emulates what you feel, or that it changes your mood, feels a little uplifting? You didn't buy the CD, you bought an inanimate kindred spirit.

Helena was never mine, nor will it ever be. But she lent me strength and closure. I did not buy it at Speedy, but if I were to put a price on it, I'd say it was priceless.

In reality, we never own anything to begin with. Puts life into persepective doesn't it?

Month 1, Day 24: To Delete or Not To Delete?

2005-09-09T15:42:00.000+08:00

Cleared the corporate inbox today, thank God! Finally! Only four emails left in there, all escalated cases which I cannot action at my level of support, left there as KIV. A lot of emails come everyday in the corporate inbox, some genuine cases, some are sales inquiries, others are home users with grievances over bad software or lack of technical support(booohooo....) who actually think that by sending email to the 'Corporate Department', it gets the upper echelons attention. Too bad, it has to go through me, and guess what, it goes straight to the retail consumer inbox where it belongs.

I get a lot of complaints too, sometimes very detailed complaints complete with case numbers, agent names and all. By company policy I am to forward this to management, but who cares? "What? What's his name did what to your computer? Now it can't connect to the internet? It's actually making weird noises? Groaning sounds you say? Oh, you actually jotted down the case number as a reference did you?". Opps, meant to click the 'Forward' button, where did that email go? What's this? 'Would you like to permanently delete this email?'. Yes I guess. Oh well, next email.

Sometimes I get hopefuls who send in their resume, in the hopes of joining a multi national software giant. This always poses a dilemma for me. To delete or not to delete? I can sympathize with these people, who wouldn't want to join an MNC? Although I am attached under an outsourcing company that handles a minor department within this company, I still get a personal inbox that says 'my name@software giant.com'(perks of the corporate line..hehe). And its not even 'catch all/masking' feature! Personal emails aren't coming in? Why don't I just call the IT Helpdesk in Santa Clara and get it sorted out. "uhh yessuhh boss suhh! right away!" And whad'ya know, I'm getting spams in my inbox again, cool! I still get kicks out of typing my name halfway in the 'Send' field and then pressing 'Control-K'. Hey, Its me!

I know, I've got too much time on my hands.

So when someone sends in a resume through the corporate inbox, I hesitate for awhile before right clicking on the email and selecting 'Delete'. Sometimes I go through the attached resume and compare it with my own, sometimes I win, most of the time I lose. Once when I was still naive, I had received this resume that I thought was absolutely stellar. It actually emulated what I wanted to be in a few years, perfect working record, citing enough certificates to shame a doctor, and working experience that was absolutely pristine. I searched through the company's hundred departments for anything resembling 'Recruitment' and forwarded the email. I even used my personal '@software giant.com' email address just to make sure it had that 'internal' feel to it.

All I got in response was a "You're new aren't you?".

So resumes also get the 'Delete' boot.

But the bulk of the emails that come in everyday are spams. Viagra, Cialis(whats this? never heard of this miracle drug before), online sex/casual/mature dating sites, 'You have won this month's lucky draw' emails, 'We would like to transfer a large amount of money from the Bank of Papua New Guinea' emails, 'You're loan application has been successful, please complete credit card details to finalize' emails etcetera etcetera. The best of the lot must be 'Get the girl of your Dreams! Become a three legged man today!' Seriously, advertising is one thing, but at least practice some subtle hints, or did I read too much into that statement?

And yes, as enticing as all these offers may be, and as idealistic my view of this world may seem, they all get the 'Delete' boot.

Now to get back to work in finding the appropriate contact points for these four emails.

Month 1, Day 22: Shhh...shhh...don't cry

2005-09-07T20:07:00.000+08:00

Seriously, this will be a VERY long read.

At my workplace, I'm known as a Tier-2 technician. It sounds cool, but its just a glamorized term used for people like me who receive the same pay as the masses, but has to contend with a wider job description, fields a larger amount of responsibility and also handles a higher amount of accountability, both to the client and the customer(which is especially true in corporate). Having said that out loud, I think I'm going to request a raise.

Perhaps I'll delve into the nature of my work in another entry. Today's entry is meant for all those ignorant, self centered, egotistical home user customers who thinks that just because they paid and own the client's software on their computer, they can say whatever they want to the people who are actually trying to help them resolve their issue. This is even bloodier if it involves money.

I don't usually handle home user inbound calls, most of the time I just inform them that they've reached the Corporate Department and transfer the call to the Home User Department(cheewahh..ada department tuhh..cool tak? *wink*). But sometimes, if the inbound que is high, and I'm not that busy with my own work, I do sometimes entertain home user calls. After all I do have the necessary tools to complete the job, and I also have adequate experience in technical support from doing escalations.

A lady called in today, she had the client's software installed on her laptop and the subscription had already expired in August. Requested the necessary information to verify her account details and found that her subscription was still expired. But this lady claims that she had purchased a renewal online using her credit card the night before, and that she purchased the same renewal five times because she was unsure if the transaction went through. So she was requesting a refund for the extra four purchases and the total amount to be credited back to her credit card. When I told her that no transaction went through and her subscription was still expired, she just lost it.

Now its one thing to handle a male irate customer, throwing profanities at every opportunity. But a woman? If I hadn't known better, I'd think she had a profanity dictionary at her side. There were even words that I had never even heard before! I was curious as to the meanings but refrained from asking, no point in stoking a well lit bonfire.

So I checked the transaction details with a tool we have here using her credit card number(that was like the longest five minutes of my life, just to get her to give me the credit card number) and found that there actually existed five purchase attempts using her credit card the night before, but they were only attempts. She did not have enough funding on her credit card to complete the transaction.

"What the #$%& are you telling me here?!! Are you playing me? I have the credit card right in front of me and I can tell you right now, its still valid, you @&#%$!!!!!!!"

"Not from what I can see from my end ******. It seems that all five attempts to purchase the renewal failed. It states here in the transaction details that there was not enough funding to complete the transaction(the last sentence I took my time and pronounced the 'not enough funding' slowly, word per word, and made sure that it sinked in, just for fun)"

"WHAT THE %$#@!!!! YOU @#$%&!!! &@#$%&@!!! I WANT MY MONEY BACK AND I WANT IT RIGHT NOW!! I WANT TO TALK TO YOUR SUPERVISOR!!"

"I'm sorry ******, but the supervisor is not in right now. But if he was, I believe he would tell you the same thing ******. The transaction failed and we cannot organize a refund on your behalf"

"YOU @#$%&%# @#$%&!! I'M NOT BELIEVING ANY PEASANT FROM CALCUTTA ABOUT MY CREDIT CARD!! I'M GOING TO CHECK WITH MY BANK RIGHT NOW!! YOU JUST WAIT YOU SORRY BANGALORE @#$ %$ @ &%$#@!!"

Now I just waited for her to look up her credit card details on her banking website, all the while wondering what it was like right now if I was in Bali. Tankinis and two pieces? What was I thinking?!! I should've dropped everything and gone! Oh well, work is work you know. Oh, and the profanities this lady hurled didn't really bother me that much, I had already become somewhat emotionally detached to this lady's plight. But what got to me the most was the Calcutta and Bangalore thingy. Come on!! My english can't be THAT bad!!!!

A few minutes after...

"***? ***(this is my so called english name, and no I'm not going to divulge it here)...are you still there?"

"Yes ****** I'm still here"

".........I'm so sorry ***!! It's my fault, you were right all along! Oh I'm so sorry!! I'm sorry I called you all those names.."

At this moment, she just broke down and cried. She was actually sobbing and crying on the phone! And I was like..whoaaaa..whats happening here? Time of the month?

She told me about how she needed the computer to be protected because she needed to go on the internet to complete her final year thesis and without adequate virus definition updates she was scared that her brother's computer might get infected with viruses. And she was telling me this in between sobs, asking me if there was anything I could do from my end as her pay for that month had not appeared in her account yet.

I contemplated giving her an extension for another one month, it was within my power to do so. I just needed to make several clicks on a database and she'd be covered for another one month. Hell, she and all her descendants could be covered if I wanted to. After all I did throw in logs of wood into the fire a little, and she was a struggling part time student busy with the thesis. Suddenly I felt guilty. She was actually sobbing and apologizing profusely, saying she didn't mean to but the stress of studying and work had gotten to her. I pitied her a little. I should do the right thing and help her.

Nah!! Just wait for the money and fend for your own in the meantime I say. She hurt my feelings with the Calcutta/Bangalore thingy already. Those type of scars you bear the rest of your life!! So there, no freebie for you.

I might be a Pisces, but I'm no prophet.

Month 1, Day 20: Bonsai Growing

2005-09-05T22:10:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I really get tired of people who think that I'm still in that 'denial' phase. That's the downside of being in a relationship where you share the same circle of friends. Everyone thinks you're still devastated, tries to be a friend, without they themselves knowing that its actually damaging. It actually 'irks' me to no end. Its bad enough to be pitied upon, but its even worst to be pitied upon by the people that you consider equals. They don't say it out loud, but you can actually sense it in the way they interact with you, being extra nice, becoming much more accommodating and somewhat less of themselves. I guess its a mirage that people hold onto, making themselves feel better by aligning themselves with those 'less fortunate'. Its not their fault really, its just human nature.

That's why I like new places and new faces. They don't know my story, they accept me at face value. I can channel my energy into something constructive, actually do something productive, mold a new image and become someone better. Its not an easy task I tell you, but at least its something worth doing.

Issues? Sure, I have issues. But at some point we all have to let go don't you think? Why do you think I started writing this blog? It's actually my personal shrink, without the hourly charges and fixed appointments(it was in the early days at least, now its evolved to something of a pet project). The months and the dates? It's counting down, not up. It is by no means a 'bouncing back' chronicle, I laid to rest that issue when I decided to start writing in here. But it is a chronicle still.

If I feel like writing something, I write. If I feel like keeping it to myself, I refrain. That's just the way I am, until everything has been done at least. Then maybe I'll try another pet project.

Who knows, bonsai growing perhaps?

Month 1, Day 19: Sticking to the Left Lanes

2005-09-04T21:32:00.000+08:00

And so I drove to The Curve....

I was running late, traffic was awful, the traffic lights kept holding me back at red, and slow pokes on the fast lane kept me constantly tapping the brake. If you ever find a Malaysian made, less than 1000cc(that's less than 79 horse power on the engine, wheel translation is much worse), drive height as high as a four by four(okay, I took that one too far) and bears this 'smart like you' badge on its front bearing down on your rear bumper, believe me when I say that you ARE slow. Sure, its a family outing, weekend leisure driving, sightseeing, or just plain busy with the left side passenger, but can't you stick to the left lanes? Some people really do need to get somewhere here. Oh, and its mid day people!! Can't you at least wait until it gets a little dark? Brats.

And so I drove to One Utama....

Uh oh! It's a manual!! How long has it been since I've driven a manual?! Easy there..Its just like riding a bicycle, just take it easy, you can do this. You've driven a manual van before, this should be a piece of cake. Just play it cool. Back up out of the parking bay real slow, keep it in second gear so that everythings smooth, find the equilibrium point of the clutch and keep it steady. Easy....easy does it....there you go. Now, just make your way to the...no no! Don't keep it in first gear! It's gonna jerk! Shift to second! Okay, so far so good. Now, if I could just find the exit.

It's not my fault you know, if all I've driven are autos. Even the new V6 is auto(it doesn't come with manual transmission, what a waste, at least make it triptronic or something). That's what you get when having all sisters. The needs of the many outweighs the need of the few, or in my case the one. And if you're wondering if the car stalled, trust me it did not. I have enough common sense than to just let a car stall. I still have my pride as a lonely street racer to uphold(refer Inital D).

And so I drove home....

"Kesian la kat saya nih...mak bapak saya dah la jauh.......".

Cracks me up everytime. Everytime.

Month 1, Day 14: Tuesday Revisited

2005-08-30T20:55:00.000+08:00

Sometimes you just know its gonna be a bad week.

I had all these workload from last week as a result of my procrastination, add to it the weekend's workload(I thought people only worked on weekdays, how come corporate keeps flowing in on weekends?), the still unfinished corporate flow FAQ and also not to mention clearing the corporate inbox. Reading emails I tell you, is really boring. Especially if the machine connects to a remote desktop on some other continent(server security restrictions), takes like a few seconds to jump from viewing one email to the other, needs to refresh the Exchange Server every one hour and takes ages to load the Acrobat Reader. On top of it all, I'm suppose to familiarize myself with this new WiFi security solution, and you guessed it, the datasheet is in acrobat format. Did I mention it takes ages to load the reader? Well, it takes decades to turn a page.

So since Monday I had already been swamped with work. The only thought that got me through it was the paycheck. That was it. No motivation, no inspiration, nothing. And let me tell you, reading emails is really boring, especially if everyone doesn't know what to do with it, this department claims that another department is responsible for it, the tech department refuses to take action unless the support number is not issued, and a support number will never be issued without a grant number. So its back to square one. Oh, I did mention reading emails is boring right? I think I did.

And look what we have here. Wednesday is Independence Day. It's also a working day. Blehh!

When in doubt, keep yourself occupied. This much wisdom I can part with freely. But it takes a lot of restraint on the mind's part from wondering, and it certainly takes a lot more concentration when the work is constantly interrupted by these connection lags. My mind, I have to admit, is always on the move, though it does not necessarily agree with what the other limbs are suppose to be doing. The fingers are typing, but the mind's going "Apa kata kite pegi je Bali?". Its like being a schizophrenic.

Don't worry, I'm not diagnosed with any ailments, it's just a trick I learnt from this classmate of mine when I was in Shah Alam. The day was hot and he fell asleep on the desk. When he came about, it was mid day and the first thing he said was "PANAS GILE!! Macam kat neraka!". I doubt he's ever been to hell before, though sometimes I contemplate the possibility. He does look the part.

See what I mean? What did I want to write just now....

Oh yeah, Bloody Tuesday. Monday was Manic, Tuesday was Bloody, Wednesday? Working Wednesday(blehh..). What you reckon Thursday is?

p/s: Damn, I nearly misspelled independence, luckily I used the Spelling Checker. If not you'd be reading independance. I'd never forgive myself.

Month 1, Day 14: Seriously. Yer think?

2005-08-30T09:30:00.000+08:00

It's just not worth the white space written on.

Wish it was, but its just not something that I'd write, so there. Let's just say that I don't want to mar this little pet project that I started.

I plead temporary insanity.

Month 1, Day 12: Of Wolves and Sheeps

2005-08-28T12:15:00.000+08:00

I don't really enjoy myself when going to weddings, but what I do enjoy going to is the engagements. Where else can you find girls all dressed up, bunched up in small groups and giggling at everything and nothing. I've been to a lot of engagements/weddings and I find that Johorians are the prettiest, Selangorians are the most bubbly and Pahangnites the most receptive of the bunch. But the best of the lot is always the Kelantanese, hands down they always win(in my book at least). Picture all of the above, and add in a tad hint of shyness, thats a Kelantanese for you. Not to mention that at these functions, they're all dressed up in their nicest traditional attire. I'm an absolute sucker for these 'baju kurungs' and 'kebayas'. Intoxicating!

Oh, my mother's side is Kelantanese, how fortunate of me.

So, last Saturday I accompanied the 'mem besar' to my cousin's engagement. She is absolutely fond of these family gatherings, never ever misses. For her, its a chance to mingle around with people who talk her language, update herself with the latest gossip and talk about anything and everything. The 'bos besar' had a previous engagement so he was not able to join us(I suspect he 'mengelat'), all my sisters were at their respective campuses, so I was the only one around to accompany her. This particular gathering had her and all the 'mokciks' deeply engaged in the recent 'Ayah Pin' and his Sky Kingdom(Sky Kingdom? You managed to subjugate all these people and yet the best you could name your so called dominion is 'Sky Kingdom'? A culmination of all prophets you claim yourself? I don't think so, creativity is seriously lacking here).

Me? I spent the whole time with the uncles, listening to them discuss about a joint venture in raising cattles and sheeps in Kemaman. One of them had acquired prime sheep genes from Africa and they were discussing about marrying local sheeps with Africans. Can you actually do that? Oh well, wasn't really interesting anyway, the sheeps milling around here were much...much...more fascinating so to speak. I utilized fully the filler words available at my disposal, the ear listening but the eyes soaking in the view, and the mouth kept repeating "Uhh..ok gak tuh Uncle Din". If I were a machine, I'd be the equivalent of a 64-bit Hyper Threading Pentium 4.

At half past four, 'mem besar' decided she had enough updates to last her until the next gathering and we made our way home, sheep clothings neatly tucked in my back pocket. Dropped her home, prayed Asar and went straight to the Bangsar Shopping Complex.

And whaddya know..theres actually an adorable pinky winky sheep here.

And the wolf goes,

"Awwwwwooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooohhhh..."

Month 1, Day 10: We Men Do Battle! You Women Squander the Spoils!

2005-08-26T18:20:00.000+08:00

Last week I performed dutifully the responsible of a single elder brother, ferrying the women of my family for a shopping spree in Jalan Tuanku Abdul Rahman. Spree in its absolute definition applies to the mother and her daughters, whereas for me it would actually be called 'pottering'.

Don't get me wrong here, its kinda cute seeing these women run around the store searching for that perfect fabric with matching patterns, comparing the colors and what not, whilst I ever vigilantly keep a cool and macho posture with one elbow on the 'On Sale' basket and secretly hoping it doesn't buckle under my weight. I could actually say the experience is quite endearing. Though there are certain limitations where this cool exterior cracks. Sogo on that day for example, had this huge sale in the center foyer, and of all things to go on sale it was women undergarment. "Okla, Abaran lepak kat luar jap. Nanti dah habis miscall Abaran". Seriously, can a guy actually give any inputs in this type of endeavors? "Uh..I think this one is better, looks decent enough but still leaves something to the imagination. But the laces on that one actually looks nicer, but does it go with your wardrobe? Oh and the color!! Black is so passe!".

Ask me to do battle for their honor and I'll take arms in an instant, hell, I'll even throw in some macho dance routine in kilts or something and shout out "They may take our lives!! But they'll never take....our freedom!!!", but teman beli unmentionables? Sorry la, I'm not equipped to deal with that type of mental onslaught. It just feels weird. I can actually imagine a few years down the road, the future misses is going out shopping with her posse, comes over and shows me the brochure.

"Hmm...yang ni...yang ni and yang ni. Oh! Jangan lupa the one we discussed in last month's catalogue. Have a blast dear!"

Wishful thinking.

p/s: 'Endearing'. This is a really nice word. 'Endearing' .

Month 1, Day 7: A Faded Shirt with Matching Black Pants

2005-08-23T20:11:00.000+08:00

Kadang-kadang kite lupa, susah mana hidup kite, ada orang lain susah lagi hidup dia.

When I arrived home today, was opening the front gate, I saw this tall lanky guy walking up the road. I knew instantly that this guy was looking for alms, so I quickly park my car and close the gate behind me. As I was about to open the front door, I heard the salam, it was already too late...

He was a Malay more or less my age, wore faded white cotton shirts matched with equallly faded black pants and a white skull cap. He did not strike me as the extremely religious type, and looked healthy enough to hold down a steady job. So what on earth is he doing collecting alms in the middle of the day? To get it over with as soon as possible, I pretended to show some interest, looked over the relevant documents, made some small talk, handed over a ten ringgit note and signed the appropriate papers. As I was backing away, with a smile he asked me if he could have a glass of water, and I did something that I will remember and regret for the rest of my life. I let out an audible sigh. And for a fleeting moment I could see his face express pleading, but only for a moment, and then the smile returned.

Since it was drizzling, I offerred him a seat at the front bench whilst he drank and somehow rather, we got to talking. I let him take his breath for awhile, and wait out for the rain to stop. He asked me some questions about what I was doing, my work, my family and all. I reciprocate the notion out of courtesy and heard his life story. Don't ask me how he was able to tell this story to someone as ignorant as me, it just happened. Maybe it was the rain, I don't know.

He grew up in a troubled family, his father left him at a young age and his mother left him and his brother with an uncle. Because the uncle was poor, he learnt at a young age that stealing was an easy way out of poverty, and that drugs was the easiest escapism tool. That was until he got caught and sent to a rehabilitation camp. Although a muslim by birth, it was at this place that he truly found religion. After his release a few years ago, he tried to maintain a steady job but because of his history with drugs, he found it hard to secure a good job. Lets face it, no one wants to hire an ex drug addict. So he did odd jobs like painting houses, mowing lawns, picking up garbage for the municipal in the early mornings and selling nasi lemak at a school canteen, and at the same time pursuing a diploma in accounting. I was taken aback when he mentioned about the diploma, so I asked him about his plans for the future. He mentioned about pursuing a degree. I asked him his age, he was 25.

You know, when you are in a comfortable position, confident of yourself, thinking that you are better than someone, under the assumption that you are wiser, you tend to blurt out things without thinking. Again, out of ignorance, I blurted out the stupidest question imaginable,

"Kenapa tak kerja hari ni?"
"Hari ni hari rehat saya"
"Kalau saya, saya kerja tiap tiap hari"
"Abang, hari ni saya kerja untuk agama, sebab saya syukur Tuhan buka mata saya dulu. Ini jer cara saya boleh berbakti kepada agama kite buat masa ni"

At that precise moment, the table suddenly turned. I was suddenly dwarfed by this person. Imagine a person, around the same age, leads a harder life than me, has a long journey ahead of him just to prove that he is worthy, has an even longer journey towards achieving a life that I enjoy everyday, can still devote his time for the same religion that I believe in.

Astaghfirullahhal'azim. Alpa nya aku. Suddenly all my troubles seemed so insignificant. Apalah sangat susahnya hidup aku ni banding dengan this person. In the end, our objective is the same, to make both our lives better, but I will forever know that the road that he has to take will be harder and longer.

When the rain stopped, he shook my hand and said thank you for the drink, offerred me a smile and walked away. This simple man, who for a brief moment taught me the true meaning of hardship, that life isn't that bad, and that we always, always forget whats more important than anything else this world has to offer. Faith.

p/s:I don't blame you for thinking me less of a man, my initial reaction towards this encounter was judgmental, selfish, ignorant and presumptuous. I wrote it down in all honesty in case one day I forget, this will serve as a reminder of how foolish and naive I once was.

Month 1, Day 6: Library Anyone?

2005-08-22T15:47:00.000+08:00

As it turns out, there were quite a number of old acquaintances thats currently working in the KLCC area. I ran into an old friend from Melaka after prayers last Friday. Since I finish at quarter past two everyday, we planned to have lunch together this afternoon.

So here we were having lunch and catching up on old times when eventually it came to the topic of my ex. You know, the usual "Awek apa citer?? Bile nak kawin?". Sometimes I really get bored with people asking the same question, and me repeating the same answer, over and over again. I always come up with the same automated response, though sometimes I purposely inject some drama into it by varying the tone. A listless tone would get me an "Awww..takper..lekkk..banyak lagi ikan kat laut..", a thoughtful longing gazed would always get me a "Lek, kalau jodoh tak kemananya...", and a hanging head with a forlorn look will almost always get a guilty menggelabah look. And all this without even going into detail. How funny we humans are, creatures so eager to jump to conclusions.

Anyway, as the discussion wandered away to something else, we came upon the topic of being single, and this friend of mine had a rather interesting take on this so called dating game(i can't believe I just said that..ghey). I'll write down a summary of what his idea was, cos I believe its quite interesting. How he put it was in no way poetry or anything, biaseler budak laki sembang, but I'll try to convey it in the nicest possible way, just to be fair to both genders.

Dating, is like going to the public library. You come in with this broad preconception of what to read, be it a comic, a novel or anything. You walk down the rows upon rows of books until you find what you like, take it to a vacant seat and start reading. Now, as to why you choose that book depends on a lot of factors, perhaps the book cover looked nice, maybe you heard about the book before, maybe you knew the author, it could be anything.

So you start reading.

If its boring, you return it back, if you find it not to your liking, you return it back, and look for another. Attention span may vary from a few minutes to a few hours, but if its not to your liking you'd still return it to the shelves. But if you find it interesting, you'd take your time to read it, get as comfortable as you can on the library chair and engross yourself. You'd want to know the story.

And, if you decide the book is worth it, you might actually go through the hassle of checking it out and borrowing it.

So I guess in a certain way, what he said was true. It all comes down to choices and preferences. Whether or not you like the book is still undetermined, but to get a glimpse of the story, you have to at least read, at the very least the summary. And in this aspect, I totally agree.

Just a side note from me though, not all books are easy reads, and not all books are hard either. Some are meant for children, easy reads. Some are so tough, you'd have to get a dictionary just so you get through the language part.

But there are certain books, thats so hard to read, its like reading a different language altogether. And you go,

"Ish, buku apa ni?? Susah gile nak baca! Aiseh...tulis dalam braille kerr...."

Month 1, Day 3: Coming of Age

2005-08-19T16:44:00.000+08:00

Happy birthday Nanao Chan! Skarang tak payah nyorok2 lagi bile nak masuk cinema, 18SG is the highest age rating there is!

Actually, my sister's birthday was yesterday, just that I had already made an entry for yesterday, so malasla nak stack two entries in one day. The fact that I keep entries practically everyday kinda shows that I have nothing better to do than just stare at this inanimate object and go "Hmm..arinih nak tulis apa ek..?". Wouldn't life be much easier that way? Tapi nanti makan pasir la plak kan.

Nanao Chan is the most kerek person amongst us five. I guess everyone is at that age. She fancies bright colored Converse with striped laces, goes "Ewww..!!" whenever mom asks her to wear something that doesn't include khaki pants or jeans, has this weird addiction for 'ice-cream goreng', is the most up to date with anything and everything that has anything to do with japanese animes and mangas, and thinks that all boys are 'gedik', except maybe for her elder brother yang suka blanjer die Domino's Pizza. Bribery works I tell you.

Anyway, happy birthday Syazana, haven't decided what to get you for this year yet, maybe this weekend I'll go find something. Tapi jangan harap Abaran nak beli piano or notebook la, tu gi mintak kat Daddy.

Month 1, Day 2: The Ones That Dragged Me to My Feet

2005-08-18T18:20:00.000+08:00

I've gone through a lot within this one month alone, can't say that all went well, can't say that all went totally south either. But hey, whats important is that we learn.

An important lesson that had me drudging through mud just so that I could understand it, is the value of friendship. Those that stand by you through thick and thin are those worth keeping, and I am eternally gracious to Him that I am blessed with these unselfish souls. True, I had to practically go through this alone, with no support group whatsoever. But when I had decided what I decided, my will was made much stronger with the addition of these entities in my life.

In the end I learnt two things, in the end a man has only himself to depend on, and friends thats always there, will always be there.

So blue eyes, purist capitalist bastard and saudagar beras kota bharu, I have cheques with your names written on them. Come and cash it whenever you need it. I never forget a debt.

You know you have a friend, when all is lost, he/she extends his/her hands - Me, 1979 -

Month 1, Day 1: Some people are just downright inconsiderate

2005-08-17T19:37:00.000+08:00

Was walking down the Yap Kwan Seng Road, making my way to the parking bay opposite AM Bank. Had just finished my shift and felt kinda tired, I had promised to meet a friend of mine at The Mall shopping complex that evening and was feeling kinda lazy to drag my behind and wade through the traffic jam on the Tun Razak Road. But a promise was a promise, so I just soldiered on.

Went into the parking bay area and walked to my car, and guess what I found there. A truck had double parked itself behind my car! I'm like WTF?? Lori sapa lak nihhhhhhhhhhhh??! Ishk!! Looked around and saw no one lingering near the truck, he/she must've stopped for his lunch break at the mamak stall nearby. Okay, I'll just wait for awhile. Went into my car, turned on the radio on my handphone, plugged in the headsets and just lepak there for awhile.

A few minutes later this Indian guy and his friends came walking along, passed by my car and went to the truck, and just stood there. Didn't really know if he was the driver at first, but the way he rested his arm on the driver door kinda gave me a hint that he was the owner. Okay, I said, lets try giving him a subtle hint. I started the engine and closed the door.

But this guy was so dense, he just couldn't understand it! He just stood there!

Now at this moment I had gotten extremely pissed! I'm not really known for my patience, and I have come to regret a lot of decisions in my life that came about from these short tempered bursts. But I decided to do this amicably, resolve this in a civilized manner. I've grown a lot these past few months, I should be able to handle this like an adult. So I did the next best thing that I could think of, I honked my car, caught his attention, gave a little signal with my hand signifying that he was blocking my exit, and even offerred this kinda 'sopan' smile.

He heard the honk, turned around and saw me waving at him, heard the idling engine(dont tell me you cant hear an engine that idles at 2000 rpm and has an exhaust pipe bigger than a Milo can?!), pulled out a pack of cig from his breast pocket, light one up and just stood there with his friends, laughing.

Now, just for fun sakes, what would you do?

tengtengtengtenenenengneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeenggggtidutiduuuu(to the tune of who wants to be a millionaire)

Jalaluddin Hassan: Soalan berikutnya bernilai sejuta ringgit, apakah reaksi anda jika anda berada di dalam situasi yang tertera di kaca televisyen anda. Adakah anda akan,

a)memberi peluang kepada lelaki tersebut meghabiskan rokoknya dan berharap dengan penuh harapan yang dia akan mengalih lorinya kemudian?

b)terus membunyikan hon kereta anda sehingga dia berasa malu dan mengalihkan lorinya?

c)berpura-pura tidak perasan dengan kehadirannya di situ dan terus mendengar radio di telefon bimbit anda?

d)keluar daripada kereta anda, berjalan ke arah lelaki tersebut dan pow rokok kepunyaanya sebatang? Sekaligus lepak bersama lelaki tersebut sehingga dia bersedia untuk mengalihkan kenderaannya?

Jawapanya? Tunggu selepas kata kata dari penaja rancangan ini.

Seriously,

Me? I lost it at that point. I threw the half burnt cigarette I was holding, turned off my engine and opened the door of my car and stepped out thinking, "Fine! Its three to one, at least I can get a few punches in. Puas hati sikit!"

Luckily the driver saw me coming out of the car, as soon as we made eye contact he suddenly decided that it was a good time to move his truck. So, no confrontation there.

I'm not advocating violence here, neither do I presume myself to be Hulk Hogan or something, can tapau two or three guys in one sitting. Its just that I am amazed, how a person can be so damn inconsiderate?! If he did not notice it, then maybe we can grant him some leway, but to do it on purpose? Saja nak carik gaduh ke ape?

p/s: The lucky part mentioned above was on my behalf, yeah yeah..lets face it, one against three mana boleh makan. As I said before, I had already lost it at that time.

Month 1: The Pants That Outgrew Me

2005-08-16T23:59:00.000+08:00

I noticed something the other day..

It was a Saturday and I had gone out with some office mates of mine for this karaoke session in LowYat. Though I couldn't understand a single chinese song, I certainly had some fun, what with the addition of a translator constantly giving me an update on each song lyric. Tried my hand at singing some malay songs, taktaula sedap ke tak..layan ajerrrrrr!

Anyway, me and a colleague decided to walk around Sungei Wang after that, shop around for stuff, and I noticed that my pants kept slipping. I'd have to keep hoisting my pants at the waist, and keep tugging at it everytime I went down the stairs. Luckily I wear boxers, the fabric kinda retards the slipping a little. But still, it was a weird sight, to see a grown man tugging at his pants constantly like a small kid. I guess it never occurred to me how skinny I had become in the past few months. I mean, I knew I had lost a lot of weight, but I never thought that my pants would 'outgrow' me!

A friend once commented on how I look, after nearly a decade we did not see each other. The first thing he said was, "Gile la, ko tak makan ke? keding jerk..tulang jer ha!". Maybe thats true. But at least I don't have to go on a diet or something, just keep watching what I eat and I'll be just fine.

Another friend had a rather more interesting comment,

friend: kurus nyer ko...macam orang sakit jer
me: biasela aku..
friend: tak makan ke?
me: makan ler..ape lak tak makan
friend: makan hati ek....

Hahahaha. Leave it to a woman to hit the bull in the eye.

Day 26: Am I Missing Something Here?

2005-08-12T19:22:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I wonder, have I become so dependant on another? That after so long being bounded in a relationship, I have failed to define my own existence? Somehow I dread this realisation more than I dread anything else in this world. If you don't have yourself, then who else do you have? In the end, every man is an island.

I used to be good with these 'games'. True, back then nothing was at stake, but I don't think its any different this time around either. Or is it? Have I missed a critical factor somewhere here? Oh, fuckit I say, too early to say anyways. The hand has been dealt, its still early in the game, the least I could do is play the hand I'm dealt with.

Wouldn't really be fun if you knew you'd win anyways.

Depend on others, and you will go hungry - Nepalese Saying

Day 23: I Stand Alone

2005-08-09T20:38:00.000+08:00

I decide what I want to be.
I decide how my day goes.
I am responsible for this person called me.
This person, I'm the only one that truly knows.

I will give in, I know someday I will.
I find myself thanking it was not meant to be.
For after all the bouts and all the defeats.
I find myself learning to hear, learning to see.

The day will come when I will have to decide.
Whether to engage, whether to recede.
So I will grow, I will toil for it, until I deem myself worthy.
But for now, lets just play this simple game between you and me.

Someday I will, I promise myself that I will

Nope, this one's not for my ex. Duh!

I tried sarcasm for a size, thats why I wrote what I wrote in the previous entry, and I find myself disliking it. Why would you hate everything that's innocent, but hold dear the one thing that is guilty? I find many people use sarcasm as an escapism tool, especially after a traumatic experience, a betrayal, or a break up. Does that signify maturity? Sounds like Dissociative Disorder to me, or rather Reality Dissociative Disorder if I might boldly coin it.

I could be wrong you know, but I'd rather use other God given tools to cope with whatever that needs coping. Lets just say I tried sarcasm, and I didn't like it. But the conscious interview was kinda cool though.

Wisdom is to live in the present, plan for the future and profit from the past - unknown

Day 22: Interview with my Conscious

2005-08-08T06:57:00.000+08:00

Three minutes after seven in the morns

conscious: hey, you know what's wrong?
me: what?
conscious: you smoke.
me: what??
conscious: yeah, you heard me, you smoke, that's whats wrong!
me: so?
conscious: SO? What do you mean SO?
me: so what?
conscious: what do you mean so what?
me: wohhh!! its 'we are all innocent' on the radio!
conscious: fine by me, it's not like I'm going anywhere

sheesh...

Eight minutes before eight in the morns

conscious: doing a callback are we?
me: yeah, don't bother me right now, I need my trail of thought back.
conscious: so why do you claim yourself to be a 'senior technician' anyways?
me: its just a lie to soothe customers, make them feel that their case is taken seriously.
conscious: but it isn't taken seriously does it?
me: nope, I couldn't care less about what happens on a computer millions of miles away.
conscious: so why do you claim to be a 'senior technician' again?
me: ........................

Nine minutes after eight in the morns

customer: Hello, I was just wondering, my husband's virusScan's subscription expires on the 18th. of August this year, is that midnight on the 18th. of August, or midnight the next day?
me: Should be midnight on the 18th. of August. *does it matter?*
customer: So I'm not covered the next day?
me: No.*yes you are covered but no updates will occur, but why bother with technicalities?*
customer: What about on the 18th. of August itself, are we covered?
me: Yes you are still covered.
customer: (mumbles something in the background with someone else..) So we have to purchase the renewal on midnight of the 18th? Is that correct?
me: *likes to live on the edge we see* Preferrably before if possible.
customer: But wouldn't we waste the fee we paid for our current subscription?
me: ..........................

Seriously...

Half an hour past nine in the morns

2 new staff just walked in..

me: yo joseph, new staff...look look
joseph: hai meh?
me: yahh...
joseph: wheres the new girl?
me: wait wait, I also haven't seen her
joseph: cute or not?
me: dunno lerrr..we see later la
joseph: aaaaaaaaaa.....why didn't they find cute cute one??
me: so shallow la you!
joseph: ya right! as shallow as you!
me: hahaha..no worries la..we can still hit on GK what..
joseph: ya ya...lucky we got GK!

pasrah ghey...

Eight minutes to five in the afternoon

conscious: i thought mom asked you to chop that branch behind the house?
me: yeah she did.
conscious: so? better get on it boy!
me: panasla...
conscious: so when are you gonna chop that branch?
me: tomorrow maybe.
conscious: same old you...
me: oklaaa..tomorrow, janji!
conscious: procrastination..procrastination...when will you learn?

Day 21: Manual Removal of Ex 1.0 remnants

2005-08-07T13:33:00.000+08:00

I am in the process of replacing all these memories of me and her. Sounds cruel doesn't it? But I think thats the best way.

I can't walk anywhere without something reminding me of her. We went out for so long, and did practically everything together. And it pains me everytime I pass the Auntie Anne's or the KLCC TGV cinema, I've not been to Uptown for quite some time and everytime I see a Kelisa SE or a Gen 2 on the road it makes my heart depressed. No, depressed is not the exact word to describe it, its 'sayu'. But time will heal, my faith will prevail and believe me when I say that I am bouncing back. :)

My girl friends are so amazed at how I can be this person who laughs and jokes around as if nothing happened. Why I ask? "Ko tak distraught ke? Lama gile korang go out together, as long as I can remember korang had been together. Tak sayang die ke?". Sayang? What has sayang got to do with it? Do you measure sayang on how long it takes you to forget that person? No. Let me ask you a question,

if a person loses love, and commits suicide, does that mean he/she has the greatest love?

if a person holds and clings to the memories, waits for the other to return to his/her embrace eventhough the other has spent all these while in another, is that true love?

For the first question, its called selfish. Others love you too, but you only value the one that has been lost. It does not in any way reflect on how your love for him/her is the greatest. For the second one, its called complicated. Confining yourself to those memories only stunts your personal growth, alienates you from those that actually wants to take a chance on you and in the end, confines you eternally to a self imposed incarceration. True, if its true love, it will come back, but don't you think you deserve to take a chance too? Tawakal, that is the key, not blind hope or faith on love.

Oh, and don't go all judgemental on how a guy has it so easy to bounce back. I used to die every single night, felt so lost, the day seemed so bleak, the shower drops felt so cold on the skin and my heart would race with a glimmer of hope every single time the phone rang, just to see the words 'rainbow' appear on the caller ID. But I have decided to move on, and Alhamdulillah, all these have slowly receded.

The answer is will. The will to make you move on, the will to give yourself a chance to open to someone else. I believe in the fact that we are put on this earth for a reason, and there is actually someone out there who is best suited for us towards this purpose. Its just that I haven't found her yet. Tuhan itu Maha mengetahui, Dia takkan uji hambanya dengan dugaan yang tak dapat hambanya tanggung. So its up to us whether we take the bull by the horns, or regress and shrink to our small square box.

I'd rather move on and see what the world holds.

T'is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all - William Congreve, English Playwright, 1670 - 1729

Day 20: Hang nih bodoh ka apa?

2005-08-06T19:07:00.000+08:00

Let me tell you something about my family. My family lives for academic excellence, those who excel gets what they want, are showered with gifts, and are the ones that get first pick for anything. My dad who is usually quite stingy with his money(believes that his children should learn to live a hard life) can easily dish out money to you whenever you ask for it, provided you excel in your studies. And this balance of power constantly shifts between me and all my sisters. So its no wonder that the word 'bodoh' is a very very taboo word in my family. I remember when I was around Standard Two, was quarelling with Kak Teh over something and I uttered this word to her. Upon hearing me say this word, my dad stood up, walked over to me and pulled my ear, saying

"Takde anak Daddy yang bodoh! Abaran dah cakap sekali, make sure Abaran tak cakap another empat puluh tiga kali lagi..!"

and was asked to remain in my room the whole afternoon and revise on my multiplication tables. Thats how serious this taboo word is.

But after growing up, being in the working environment for some time, I can safely say that some people are really 'bodoh'.

I have this colleague of mine at work. Basically he's quite good at his job, a colleague of mine can attest to this fact, albeit him 'irking' her everyday(my prayers are always with you, lol). But recently, he highlighted a rather disturbing pastime of his, downloading 'unnecessary' material from the web.

Now I have nothing against that, seriously I don't. You are who you are, fine by me I say. So when he mentioned this to me, and so proud of his collection on the office workstation, I wasn't really fazed at all. I kinda expected something like this would eventually happen, him being somewhat immature for his age, and the way he interacts with people had already given me some inkling towards his personality. So I just went like "blahhhh...so what?" and just forgot about it, until today.

It seems another colleague of mine knows about this too, and we talked about this after I had finished my shift last Friday. He voiced out his worries regarding this issue, so I just said something like "rilek laa..biarla dier...kalau kena sack..salah dier gak..die yang nak gali kubur sendiri". But then he said,

"I'm not worried about that, I'm worried that if management finds out, they'll pull out our internet access privileges! Even if he knows all these fancy DOS commands to hide his track, don't you think Kenny doesn't know either?"

And I suddenly went "OMG!!". Only then did I realise the gravity of the issue. And I just realised, how stupid and irresponsible this guy was.

Kerana nila setitik, rosak susu sebelanga - Malay Proverb on how one's conduct reflects on the crowd he walks with

Day 19: Its Friday!

2005-08-05T07:50:00.000+08:00

Six minutes to eight o'clock, listening to Losing My Religion by REM.

Hari ini hari Jumaat.
Saya suka hari Jumaat.
Hari ini saya boleh pulang awal!
Hari ini saya boleh pergi solat Jumaat di Masjid As'Syakirin KLCC!
Hari ini saya boleh makan tengah hari bersama kawan kawan di medan BSN!
Hari ini hari terakhir saya bekerja dalam seminggu, esok saya cuti!
Hari ini saya tak perlu pakai tie(dlm bahasa melayu apa ek?) ke pejabat!

Hahaha, that was hard! Although Bahasa Melayu is my native language, I've never been that proficient when writing in that language. My PMR and SPM results can vouch for that, got a 'B' for PMR and a 'C' for my SPM which severly degraded my aggregate! I remember the day I returned home from Penang after collecting my SPM results, dad only perused the Math subjects and commented something that resembled 'good', albeit in his own way. Mom on the other hand had a surprise in stored for me.

She was cooking dinner, I came over and showed her the result slip. She took one look and suddenly tapped my head with the ladle she was holding.

"Adoila! Apsal mak ketok kepala abaran??"
"Ish!! Apsal BM dapat 'C' nih? 'C' corot plak tuhhh!! English boleh dapat 'A' plak? Haih..anak omputeh mana nih? Malu mak!!"

"Hehehe..."

Hahahah..Why? She has a Master's Degree in Linguistics(First Class Honours), is a Liguistics Officer attached with Dewan Bahasa dan Pustaka, and on top of it all, she's the Department Head for Language Growth for the Private Sector(Bahagian Pengembangan Bahasa Sektor Swasta). Go figure. :P

Coming back to the present, came in barely in time at five o'clock(twenty one seconds late, but who's keeping track of those anyways), used up seven minutes of auxiliary break for my Subuh prayer and so far, no corporate calls. We'll see how it goes the rest of the day.

p/s: weh apsal aku takleh insert line breaks nih? weng ke aper?

==================================================

Four minutes past eight in the evening, listening to Nobody Does It Better by Smm

Logged in twenty seconds after five
-good good!
Exceeded auxiliary break by two minutes
-forgot the time, was listening in awe to Joseph's strategy on how to maintain six credit cards
Did not even take my lunch break
-again, forgot..was just to busy with customer's calling in with their respective escalations
Seven resolved escalations!
-my my! well done!

Comments
Pelajar menunjukkan dedikasi untuk memajukan diri, tetapi masih lagi ada ruang untuk mempertingkatkan diri. Azamnya untuk tidak tidur di siang hari berjaya dilaksanakan, namun perlu di beri perhatian lebih agar pelajar tidak lalai dan tidak terikut kawan kawan sekelas. Mempunyai potensi untuk berjaya, jika pelajar didorong secukupnya. Amat aktif dalam kegiatan pengakap dan juga...blabla

p/s: wohh..penatla camni! nak kena tulis report card tiap tiap hari!

Each year, one bad habit rooted out, in time might make the worst man good throughout - Benjamin Franklin, Inventor, Innovator, 1706-1790

Day 18: Small Steps

2005-08-04T19:56:00.000+08:00

Since I'm 12 days shy of a month, I was thinking of pacing myself a little in the coming 12 days, see how much I can achieve before a month in my calendar ends. So I was thinking of making small steps, setting some small goals for the end of this month.

Adherence
I find myself always logging to work in the morning two or three minutes late, and I blatantly abuse the auxiliary breaks. So, lets try logging in before five o'clock tomorrow morning, and keep an eye on available auxialiary break times and lunch breaks. Haven't used any med certs so far, so thats good.

A Day's Worth
A day's worth of work amounts to a hundred ringgit, how much of it is earned? Turnaround time is a day for each escalation and on average there are five escalations coming in each day. So, lets try this for a change, minimum three is resolved everyday, minimum three new cases are flagged red everyday, no more que jumping to easy cases, and no more spamkiller case jumping. Oh, and no more falling asleep at work, its was never in your job description to begin with! :P

Hmm, sounds reasonable enough doesn't it? Wish me luck!

Who is strong? He that can control his bad habits - Benjamin Franklin, Inventor, Innovator, 1706-1790

Day 17: Win Some, Lose Some

2005-08-03T21:24:00.000+08:00

Satu je la slack that I can see at my workplace, its the shifts.

No, don't get me wrong, shift or not, the work is great. Its just that because everyone belongs to different shifts, susah nak lepak skali or organize an outing together. Mamat nih shift sampai kul 9 malam, minah ni plak shift sampai 6.45 petang, aku lak kul 2.15 petang dah balik dah. Camne nak lepak? Oh, and for outings lagi la susah nak organize, a 'mengajak' conversation would go something like..

Si mamat A: Weyyhh...jom gi tengok Stealth weekend nih..amacam? ada berani?
Si mamat B: Jadahnyer! Aku keje weekend ler
Si mamat A: Teloq la hang nih.....

or

Si mamat A: Weyyhh..jom lepak skali rabu nih tengok Stealth ker..half price!
Si mamat B: Ok gak tuh! Jom..jom! selamber...
Si minah C: takleh la..aku keje arituh..korang gi larrr(sambil buat muka malu2)
Si mamat A dan mamat B: *pasrah ghey*

or even worse

Si minah C: ok jom jom kite makan pizza italian original nyer weekend nih! aku blanjers
Si mamat A: aiseh takleh ler..aku early shift next morning..reschedule lain kali la
Si mamat B: akalahh!! ko tak gi..aku pon malas la...jauh la plak
Si mamat S mencelah: WOHHH!! Jom..jom!! Bile? Aku set ajer!! Ahad malam ker? Rights!
Si minah C: erk! *pasrah*

Get my drift?

Strangers are friends just waiting to happen - Geoffrey Chaucer, English Writer, 1343-1400

Day 16: Breakaway

2005-08-02T22:16:00.000+08:00

So I pray
I could break away

I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly
I'll do what it takes til' I touch the sky
I'll make a wish
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway
Out of the darkness and into the sun
But I won't forget all the ones that I loved
I'll take a risk
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway

Kelly Clarkson.Breakaway

Human beings are like tea bags, you don't know you're strength until you are in hot water - Bruce Laingen, US Ambassador during the Iranian Hostage Crisis 1979-1981

Day 14: So Long and Goodnight

2005-07-31T21:11:00.000+08:00

Bought myself a new handphone today.

Originally I didn't plan on buying a new handphone, my old Nokia 3350 seems to be serving me well so far, albeit a missing back cover, a loosened battery(hafta wiggle wiggle the battery a bit to make the 'Insert SIM Card' message disappear), bad reception, fluctuating quality of calls and also its inability to go on more than one day without recharging. All of the above didn't really bother me, after all I only use it to make and receive calls. What got to me the most was its limited number of address book entry and SMS messages stored.

It dawned on me that my handphone had reach the end of its era when last night, a friend of mine sent a rather important message through SMS, and I had trouble deciding on which SMS message within my handphone to delete. See the Nokia 3350 can only hold 10 SMS messages at one time(being a dinosaur and all) and I had nine stored for safekeeping. If I saved the new message, then I would be unable to receive messages anymore. After quite some deliberation, contemplating which old SMS message to delete, I decided, "Ahhh...beli baru jer la!!". So I stored the latest SMS message onto my handphone and let the 'Inbox is full' icon blink all night.

This morning I went to Low Yat with Oba chan and Nisa to look for a new handphone. I had already decided on which handphone to buy. Alang alang nak beli handphone baru, might as well buy something that included all the bell and whistles. I mean, logically if you bought a decent new handphone for say RM600 which does not have a VGA camera, you'd still have to invest money on a decent camera(lets face it..kawan kawan kahwin, takkan tak nak amik gambar kot?) which costs around an additional RM500 to RM600 more. Why not just buy something that includes both? At the very least, its always in your pocket whenever your friends make a total fool of themselves! And as an additional bonus, it has a 96 Megabyte storage memory(in layman's term, its able to store more than 20 full clip MP3s), has an FM radio receiver(good for listening in traffic jams cos the radio on my car is already spoilt) and most important of all, has 200 SMS slots and a 1000 address book entry. Oh, and I forgot to mention that the camera is a 1.3 megapixel camera and has caller ID! Not bad for a 1.2k handphone, yeah it costs seriban dua latus linggit. Upgrade gile2 nyer, from a handphone that I have to ketok2 sikit to get a good reception(not to mention angkat it high into the air to get full reception), to a handphone that plays MP3 like an iPod!

On a side note, I had decided to make a clean break from my old relationship. Last Thursday I had message my ex and told her I'd be coming to drop off her stuff today. Wasn't that much stuff to begin with, but the were some novels that I thought should be returned. Tak elokla simpan harta orang kan. And most importantly, I wanted to talk to her one last time, a clean break so to speak. After all, throughout our relationship, it wasn't all hell, so I wanted to part ways in an amicable fashion. So I had SMS her saying I'd come by on Sunday after Dzohor. She said okay.

Haih, some people are so caught up with having fun, sampai nak honor one day's promise pon dah susah. Bukanya jumpa dah pasnih, 'gentle' la sikit. At the very least, after so long being together, take the time la nak meet for awhile, and bukanya kena datang ambik sendiri barang tuh, orang dah gentleman habis datang drop your stuff at your doorstep, at the very least dah janji tuh, tunggu la kat rumah. But no, she was at the Curve, spending time with his new boyfriend I suppose. Pikir2 balik, macam budak2 jer, sehari pon takleh nak berenggang. Suka hati ko ler, I stopped caring already. So I just left all the stuff with her housemate and literally moved on.

Memang betulla org cakap, kalau dah berchentan gile2 tuh, semua benda best, you see the world through rose tinted glasses, kentut pon wangi. So have your fun now, I'm really curious as how it will all end.

Our deeds still travel with us from afar, And what we have been makes us what we are - George Elliot, Victorian Writer, Humane Free Thinker, 1819-1881

Day 11: Kindred Spirits

2005-07-28T19:52:00.000+08:00

Dear C,

Its a surprise that of all places, after all these years, we'd run into each other again in Low Yat Plaza. How ironic that I keep running into our classmates back in Penang, and of all people, I ran into you. Fate? Perhaps. I know you don't believe in those things, but you do believe in Takdir right?

I'm sorry we had to end our conversation so abruptly. If it we're up to me, I'd hang around and have more Mocha Lattes until our table was stacked high with paper cups! But I had something important to attend to, so perhaps we'll hang out together next time.

I know what you're thinking, people keep telling you to be strong but they have never experienced it, right? "Be strong", "Take it easy, it will all pass", or the so overused "Stop and smell the roses". What do they know? As the saying goes, berat mata memandang, berat lagi bahu memikul. Its true. So I wont waste your time by patting your back, sugar coat everything and pretend to be of some comfort. I say try walking a mile in our shoes, then dispense all these cliche sayings. Does that sum how it feels?

You can end it, but you have to decide. Take the high road, forgive him. I know its hard, what with you being there from the start, right until his business prospered and decided that you were not the 'trophy partner' to walk around the corporate circle. Take comfort that it happened sooner rather than later. Take comfort that perempuan yang baik untuk lelaki yang baik, that setiap benda yang berlaku itu, ada hikmah nya. You may not see it now, but trust me you will see it later.

So decide, decide to forgive him, decide to halalkan everything, decide to move on, and most importantly, decide to grow. You're in a good place now, you should be proud of your career. Advance it further. Seriously, it has to come from within. When you have decided, only then can you seek comfort in others. But not before, for all they say will fall on deaf ears. Trust me, I've been there.

Love is important, that much is true, but it isn't everything. We're not westerners who go about life with our emotions stitched on our sleeves, we abide to our faith, for that is what keeps us together. Strength, will, perseverance, beliefs are all derivatives of faith. If you want to do something that is good, He will help you. Believe me it will become easier.

Buang yang keruh, ambil yang jernih.

That which does not kill you will only make you stronger - Friedrich Nietzsche, German Philosopher, 1844-1900

Day 10: Mondo Bongo

2005-07-27T18:18:00.000+08:00

Ever watched Mr and Ms Smith? Remember the scene where they first met and were drinking and dancing under the rain? Ever wonder the name of the song that was playing at that time?

Its Mondo Bongo by Joe Strummer and the Mescaleros.

I was patrolling a Pachinko
Nude noodle model parlor in the Nefarious zone
Hanging out with insects under ducting
The C.I.A was on the phone
Well, such is life

Latino caribo, mondo bongo
The flower looks good in your hair
Latino caribo, mondo bongo
Nobody said it was fair, oh

Latino caribo, mondo bongo
The flower looks good in your hair
Latino caribo, mondo bongo
Nobody said it was fair

Latino caribo, mondo bongo
The flower looks good in your hair
Latino caribo, mondo bongo
Nobody said it was fair

For the Zapatistas I'll rob my sisters
Of all the curtain and lace

Down at the bauxite mine
You get your own uniform
Have lunchtimes off
Take a monorail to your home

Checkmate, baby
God bless us and our home
Where ever we roam
Now take us home, flaquito

Latino caribo, mondo bongo
The flower looks good in your hair
Latino caribo, mondo bongo
Nobody said it was fair
Latino caribo, mondo bongo
The flower looks good in your hair
Latino caribo, mondo bongo
Nobody said it was fair

If passion drives, let reason hold the reins - Benjamin Franklin, Inventor, Innovator, 1706-1790

Day 9: Reflections

2005-07-26T22:40:00.000+08:00

Okla, after a week of pondering, I can safely say that mornings are always slow in here.

Everyday is the same, come in at five o'clock, sit in for corporate support whilst listening to CHFK, London and then around quarter past six go for Subuh prayers with Haikal. If Vijay comes in early we chat about cars, bodykits, engine upgrades(the usual sembang kereta) or just sack each other on who is more ghey. Quarter past seven, Joseph comes in for corporate support, listen to him grumble about how the system is so slow(its remote desktop la Joseph, what do you expect :P), pesan Alvin nasi lemak lauk kerang and sotong at half past seven, go for breakfast with Haikal and Joseph at half past eight(damn! Joseph eats A LOT! lol!) and all the while, curik curik turun bawah with JD for a smoke once in awhile. :P

But mornings are nice, you can hear the cars zooming past by the Ampang Elevated Link below, see the day slowly gaining light, laze around a little whilst listening to the radio, and even watch some short funny clips on the net. If I could sum up early morning working experience, I would say its 'melepek sambil watching the day start'. Tak best ke tuh? Furthermore, around quarter past two I can already chow balik rumah already. Orang lain semua tgh busy, I sudah start carik Jeremy to sign the timesheet. Joseph is always envious when I walk out the door. Lol!

This job is kinda fun you know, the environment is ok, not so stressful, not much office politics(so far la..everyone is still amicable to each other), pay is okay, location is strategic, is technical based so my IT skills don't go to waste and the people are all friendly with each other.

Yeah, life's good.

A quarrelsome man has no good neighbours - Benjamin Franklin, Inventor, Innovator, 1706-1790

Day 7: Tg.Lumpur Anyone?

2005-07-24T23:36:00.000+08:00

Seems like a very busy weekend.

Today, me and Oba chan went to Kuantan to send Tebu chan to her college. Tebu chan is studying Allied Health Science to become a dietician at the UIAM campus in Kuantan. Since shes taking this course, shes been very health concious, taking extra care of her food intake, and always..always..always advising me to quit smoking(schmoking as we all call it :P). Yeah Fifi, I will have to quit sooner or later, wouldn't actually be fair to my wife and kids once I marry right? Anyways, looks like we'll be having more trips like these in the future I suppose, considering how Tebu chan is the poshy woshy, malas nak naik bus type of person. Lol. Anyhow, I guess its okay, at least I'll be doing something, and at the very least I get to lenjan the Merc on the Karak-Kuantan Highway once in awhile! *grin*

Let me tell you, driving a Merc on the highway is a totally different experience, provided theres no back seat driver constantly going "laju sangat tu Ran..pelan sikit", or "tak boleh ke maintain bawah seratus sepuluh? ingat ni germany ke?" etc etc etc. When you are on your own, pegila laju macam mana pun, takde sape nak larang. My sisters? Derang dah biase, bertahun dok hantar and picking up everyone from their boarding school with different cars(kancil la, wira la, naik van nissan vanette pon ader), derang dah lali. Cakapla camne pon, abang die ni bukanya nak dengar. Derang dah paham sangat. :P

No la, I wasn't really speeding all the way, though I was really tempted to tailgate some other Mercs and BMWs on the road, just to see how far it can go. Lol. All the way I maintained a cruising speed of more or less a hundred and ten, the specified PLUS highway speed limit. But did you ever wonder why the Mercs all flash their lights from far away if you're driving too slow on the fast lane? Just so that they don't have to slow down waiting for you to inch your way to the slow lane?

Cos the car is heavy like hell. :P

Pickup wise, nada! Cruising speed? Damn this car is really built for speed cruising. Its really hard to maintain the needle at 110 kph, die asyik nak panjat jer. Kadang2 tuh, tak perasan pon, dok leka sembang ke, dok nyanyi lagu kat radio ker, tup tup dah 140 kph dah. Rasa cam tak tekan lebih pon throttle tuh.

Berpijak balik ke bumi nyata, it guzzles fuel macam gajah minum air kat kolam air padang savannah Afrika kat dalam Discovery Channel. Seblom bertolak, minyak ada quarter tank, sampai kat RnR Temerloh isi 70 ringgit. Ingatkan 70 tuh banyak ler, ada ke naik separuh jerk?! Dah ler pakai duit sendirik, takde travelling expenses. :P
Tapi its not that bad la kot, the amount can actually get us to Tanjung Lumpur for a seafood dinner, balik hantar Tebu chan to her campus and then only needs refuelling at the Genting Sempah RnR. Ok la kot.

Tapi tak boleh la pakai Merc, maintenance mahal ler. Tukar tayar 4 biji costs around RM1.2k(kancils only costs about RM400 for all 4 :p), a single driveshaft costs around RM800(kancils only costs Rm76, an L2 Mira LSD driveshaft is only at RM110), the alternator had to be changed the other day and it costs about RM650+ for the spare part, not to mention waiting for the parts to ship from Singapore(alternator kancil is only RM120 and is readily available at any 'kedai barang spare part kurang berlesen').

Tengokla next year apa yang mampu, tengok ler camner. Takdenyer nak pakai kancil pintu kemek2, naik bumper kena main senget senget. Laju memang la laju, tapi kang ada anak bini takkan nak bawak gi shopping kat Carrefour naik kancil takde aircond kots? :P

Berakit rakit dahulu, berenang renang kemudian, bersakit sakit dahulu, bersenang senang kemudian.

p/s: see, its already been a week.

Come what may, time and hour runs through the roughest day - William Sakespeare, Writer, Poet, Dramatist, 1564-1616

Day 6: Eppy B'day Oba Chan!

2005-07-23T19:30:00.000+08:00

Happy birthday Oba chan!!! You're not actually getting older, but you're getting wiser! :D

Went for lunch in Shah Alam today to celebrate Oba chan's birthday. Had high tea buffet at the Blue Wave Hotel and ate until I was so full, couldn't even drive on the way back cos was too sleepy! Ye la..semalam balik pukul berapa, dah lama tak hang out sampai 4 o'clock in the morning, bangun plak at 10 cos had to go pick up NanaO chan in Shah Alam before we went for lunch. Luckily we went out all together in one car so my dad volunteered to drive on the way back.

Oba chan is a nice kid, she's very helpful, a very bubbly person and is very open minded regarding everything as long as it is within the boundary set by our religion. She also has a knack for sensing what other people feel, and I think she knows what I'm going through. But we're a very 'cool, slamber' family so matters of the heart seldom get mentioned in any conversation. In fact we seldom talk about feelings, I guess its the way we we're brought up you know, having a strict Jawa as a father doesn't really nurture those type of mushy wushy talks or emotional outlets. But altogether, we're cool with it. But Oba chan is the most sensitive of them all, not sensitive as in easily offended, but she's the most understanding and empathic person amongst us all.

I remember this one night, she was coming home from work(she was working part time at the Borders Book Store in Berjaya Megamall at that time) and it was already around half past ten at night. Usually she would call me and ask me to pick her up at the LRT station in Taman Melati, but she didn't call that night. Around eleven o'clock or so, she finally called me to pick her up. When I ask her why she didn't call me earlier, she said that she didn't want to bother me as I had to turn in early for the 5 o'clock shift, but decided to call because there was some stray dogs on the route she usually takes and she got scared. How can you not adore her?

Other than that she is like any normal kid, likes to go shopping, has a very very very soft spot for anything kawaiii, likes to hang out with friends and enjoys watching animes as much as I do. Has tons of jeans, tons of shoes, tons upon tons of make up and all these facial blablabla(I cant mention here for fear of being ghey) and has changed watches more than anyone else. But the thing is, she always manages to buy it with her own money. Shes involved with this other friend of her's selling these perfumes, bangles and other girlish items and manages to collect a hefty sum for her savings. I guess thats why my dad just adores her.

Oba chan, her name is Nadia, and she is my sister. :)

Without kindness, there can be no true joy - Thomas Carlyle, Writer, 1795-1881

Day 5: The Bowling Day

2005-07-23T04:34:00.000+08:00

Today was bowling day. Seriously! Yeah..me bowl. LOL!

Work was as usual, Fridays are always slow, especially for corporate. Guess people are just anxious for the week to end and laze around at home with their families. Call volume was low, so we hung around the office, chatting about this and that, gossiping about other programs and all(no, I dont gossip, albeit some sensational issues related to some scottsmen in our office). So the day went uneventful.

Went for lunch with Hafiz and Haikal at the BSN foodcourt(its cheap there, cheap la for a stall thats in the middle of Kuala Lumpur) after Friday prayers. Met with Jai there and had lunch together. Jai is now working with a company in the UOB building, doing internship I think. Looks like he's got his work cut out for him at the moment, but still macam dulu gak. Its kinda cool to hang out with budak budak lama once in awhile. Anyways, we chatted about old times a little, guys we used to know, how they were doing now, what car they're driving now, dah kawin ke belum and such. You know, the usual stuff.

Later that night, went for bowling. Seriously!! I went for bowling! And I got satu strike!(Woohooo for me!!). Should organize more of these office outings la, it really promotes the closeness, tears down the racial wall between everyone. Oh, not to mention it was fun.

The Mcafee APAC Support Team, well part of it actually.

Dropped Elaine and Haikal back home in Kelana Jaya and USJ after the game(apsal beriye gi amik Haikal in the first place? aa tu ada cerite die, udang di sebalik mee..heheh). And went to meet and old friend in Danau Kota. Was about 1 o'clock in the morning, already felt a little drowsy but what the heck. This was my very old best friend, back when I was in high school in Penang. We were best buds back then sampai the girls called us the Kaka Brothers, cos both our names starts with Khai.

Anyways, it was nice catching up with ya Mamdouh. Wise and maturity has certainly come with age in your case. Do call me again next time you drop by, maybe then I'll have grown for the better. :)

Guidance comes in the darndest way you know. Its surprising how clarity comes from the most obscure sources.

And its true, you decide how your day goes. :)

A man is known by the company he keeps - M. Coverdale, Writer, 1541